Crushed Page 11

  I checked my reflection in the mirror, and dabbed a little makeup on before heading up. I didn’t know what I would be facing when I got up there, but I didn’t want to look like I had been on a plane for nearly 6 hours either.

  The elevator doors opened and I was greeted with a huge open area. It was really nice up here, but really big for one person. That’s when I notice that it was a two bedroom suite.

  I walked to the one room on the left, but the door was open dresses thrown all over the floor. I suddenly felt sick, Katie must be sharing the suite with him

  I looked across the suite at the other bedroom. This one had a closed door.

  I turned my head and pressed my ear against the door. I could hear a female moaning, but that was it. I started praying that once again Katie was screwing herself rather than Ryan. I twisted the knob to the door quietly, I didn’t want whoever was in there to hear me.

  My prayers were ignored, as soon as I pushed the door open I saw Ryan’s back. Katie was bent over the bed and he was fucking her from behind. He was silent as can be though. Not a noise. When he and I have sex he is always groaning and loud as hell. Right then he looked angry, and sad and almost uninterested.

  But he was still having sex with her, he was still cheating on me

  I gasped.

  As soon as I did he turned his head. It took him a second to focus on me, I could tell he was drunk. Katie looked up to see me, a smile on her face like she had won something.

  I looked to my left and saw a platter from their room service tray. I grab it and crossed the room in 3 strides smashing her in the face with it. Ryan stumbled back.

  Katie started screaming, blood poured from her face. She turned to Ryan

  He opened his mouth to say something to me, shock evident on his face, but I turned and walk to the door. He began screaming my name

  “Emmalyn, holy shit. Please. Wait oh my god baby stop. What are you doing here?”

  He was trying to run to catch up with me, but he couldn’t even walk in a straight line.

  His dick was still hanging out, not hard, but the condom is still on. I leaned over and throw up in the trash barrel by the door.

  Then it hit me

  I’m pregnant. He was just cheating on me.

  That realization makes my heart split into a million pieces. I felt physical pain.

  “You promised.” I said no longer looking at him. I opened the door and walked out. Entering the elevator. I clicked ‘close doors’ as he is came out with his sweat pants on. He was still yelling for me to wait, telling me that he could explain.

  I didn’t want to hear it. Nothing he could ever say could ever make that image go away.

  I exited the elevator into the main lobby. As soon as I did I saw Jason, he noticed my face and ran to me just before my legs gave out

  “What happened up there Emmy?” he asked. His hand brushed my hair from my face

  “He was having sex with Katie, Jason.”

  “I’m going to fucking kill him. I am so sorry Emmalyn, if I had any idea what he was doing I wouldn’t have let you go up there.”

  “I know, Jason I need to go home, I need you to keep him away from your house, I am going to pack my shit and move back in but I can’t see him right now. If you can’t I totally understand I can go somewhere else, but I can’t take this stress. Not with the baby.” I pause realizing he didn’t know I was pregnant

  “You’re pregnant?” he asked quietly

  I looked behind him and noticed Cindy walking up to us

  “You broke her fucking nose, you are the dumbest bitch. When are you going to realize you are not good enough for Ryan, get your shit and go back to whatever small town you came from? He’s a movie star, he can’t be with someone like you.”

  I didn’t have the energy to respond, I just looked at Jason and turned towards the front doors. I could hear him screaming at her. Telling her that she was fired. I know Jason has the power to do that, but it doesn’t matter. Everything she says is right.

  I’m not what someone like Ryan needs. Ryan needs someone cute and sweet like Katie. Is she a good person? No, clearly not but she’s what someone in his occupation needs. Not someone plain like me.

  I hailed a cab, climbed inside and told the driver to take me to the airport. We pulled down the road a bit when I heard Ryan screaming, I looked out the back window and saw Ryan standing in the middle of the busy street yelling my name. He fell down onto his knees, Jason came running out and grabbed him. I couldn’t watch any more. I turned around and let the tears fall.

  Chapter 26

  Ryan called so many times I stopped keeping track. The text messages too.

  As soon as I got back in town I realized that going to Lacey and Jason’s wasn’t a good idea that would be the first place that Ryan would look. I called Alex and asked if I could go and stay there.

  I knew it would hurt Ryan if he found out that I was with Alex, but honestly was that something I should even be worried about?

  Alex came by and helped me move my stuff out from Ryan’s

  Jason called to tell me their flight was leaving at 6 that night so I had until about 10 pm to get all my shit out

  He also made it a point to tell me that Ryan was a mess. Crying and screaming at Katie to get out. He fired Cindy as well. It wasn’t his idea to have Katie in the same room. Like that was the biggest issue

  Jason I think wanted me to talk to Ryan, he was worried about his brother, but he didn’t push it. He also didn’t tell Ryan that I was moving out. I asked him not to. I knew if he knew he would freak out more. Not that he could get here any faster they took the last seat on a returning flight that wasn’t leaving until that night.

  Alex carried everything, I told him I was pregnant. He seemed sad at first, but told me that he was really happy for me.

  I packed everything up and cleaned up a bit. When I first came in I might have smashed a few photos. I left the ones of Ryan and I face down in their respective places throughout the house.

  I couldn’t even go into our bedroom at first. I knew I needed to get my clothes, but there were so many happy memories in that room that it was almost too much for me.

  When I finally went in, I noticed the pictures all over the wall. Ryan loved taking photos. He also insisted on having several of the ones of us nailed onto the wall.

  When I moved in, he bought a new bed, he bought new everything pretty much. I knew that he hadn’t been living in that house for long. He moved in about a month before he and I met, but still I found it sweet how he insisted on starting over.

  Not that any of that mattered.

  I packed up my clothes and Alex came up to get the box. I sat on our bed for a while. Just thinking.

  Before I left I grabbed a notebook out of Ryan’s bedside table. Where I knew he kept one

  He also kept tickets from our dates, and other mementoes that I couldn’t even look at. I grabbed a pen and wrote him a letter.

  Dear Ryan

  It feels silly writing you a letter while I sit on our bed. We live in a time where text messaging and email is the preferred means of communication when you can’t be face to face, but it didn’t seem really appropriate for this kind of thing.

  I love you, I think I love you almost too much. It’s like soul sucking love. I want eat breathe and live with you in every moment of every day. I want to be with you always. When I agreed to marry you, I thought it would be for forever. Not 2 short months. I have a feeling that marriage to you was never the same thing that it was to me. In that time you chose your job over me, and cheated on me. Those are two huge no no’s if you want to make someone happy.

  I gave you everything I had, you made me a promise that night we agreed to try things out, that you would treat me like I was your everything, you told me that I was the only thing that mattered to you. That wasn’t true. Today watching you in that hotel room with her, I realized I was your just for now. Someone that you used to fill a void in your life. Go be with
her Ryan, because I will never ever be able to be with you again. I could never let you hurt me again after what you have done today.

  I didn’t know it was possible to feel so much pain. I have so many things I want to say to you, so many questions I want to ask. Why would you do this to me? Why did you play me? Why did you even bother marrying me if it meant nothing to you? I realize I want to know all of these things but I never want to talk to you again to get the answers. I know I will see you around. You will be at Jason’s and Lacey’s I get that. But it won’t be like it once was, I won’t be able to laugh with you, or enjoy watching you play with Mason, I will never have those happy moments back. Every moment I possibly share with you from here on out will be tainted with the memory of seeing you have sex with someone else.

  I wish you luck, if Katie is what you want, clearly she is. I do wish you well. I only hope that you try and find happiness in your life Ryan and learn to love yourself.

  Please don’t bother looking for me. You are free to do all the things I held you back from doing.

  Goodbye, - Emmalyn.

  I stood up, removing my wedding rings from my hand and setting them on top of the letter on the bedside table. I knew he would see them when he walked in. I just hoped he was alone when he read the letter.

  Alex and I left, I left my house key on the table by the front door. I took one last look inside what I believed would be the home where I would spend the rest of my life, and said goodbye to the memories I shared with a guy who 7 hours ago was the love of my life. Now he was feeling more like my biggest regret.

  Chapter 27 Ryan

  I was sitting down calling the florist to deliver Emmy another batch of flowers.

  Being away from her was fucking brutal, and I couldn’t stand another night away from her. I wish she had come with me, but this shit with Katie and Cindy’s plan was too much for her.

  It was too much for me too. I couldn’t quit though, I needed to keep going, to make a ton of money and deal with the fame. Showing my piece of shit Seth that he was wrong about me.

  As soon as I thought of him, I remembered the prison phone call a few months ago, he was getting out. I knew he had been out for a few weeks, I knew he wanted to see me, but so far I hadn’t seen him.

  And then, there he was.

  He looked as skinny and disgusting as I remembered from when I was a kid. I hadn’t seen him since I was 13.

  He crossed the bar and came to sit by me

  “Ryan, my boy how are ya?” His voice still sounded fake, I use to have nightmares until I was 18 and started working out. I was always afraid he would come and find me and make me feel bad like he used to.

  I started fucking girls when I was 13. Most of them were not my age. Some were 18, 25. Whoever my dad could find. I knew I was a good looking kid. I always had girls chasing me when I was in school. But dad would tell me that this would be the only time in my life that girls would chase me. He told me that I was going to get older and I would get uglier. That I was a loser and no good girl would ever want me.

  I always thought that fucking was all I deserved. As I grew older and I started working out, women would throw themselves at me, but at that point I never wanted any of them. Until I met Emmalyn. I fell in love with her the moment I met her, and who could blame me. She’s honestly the most beautiful girl I have ever met and she has a heart to match.

  Seth being here scared me, it made me feel gross. Just sitting across from him. His intentions were not pure. I never sent him money. When I hit it big, he would have his connections on the outside, what little of those he had left, contact me and ask me for money. I always refused. I wrote him once and told him that he made me sick and to find his own money.

  I hadn’t heard from him until then. I assumed he was sitting before me now because he wanted money

  “What do you need Seth?” I asked

  “Is that anyway to talk to your dad?” He sneered

  “You are not my dad, you are the one night mistake my mom made 23 years ago, now I will ask you again. What do you need?”

  He looked annoyed “I want you to loan me some money. I need to start up a new business.”

  “No.” is all I say. Looking around the bar hoping no one is listening

  “He leans in, I was hoping it wouldn’t have to go this way, but apparently you are going to make it hard on me. See I have been following you. Before I got out I had a few friends following you too. I know you are making a ton of money every year for all the shit you have been in. I know that you have a huge house, and a nice car and a smoking hot wife. He pronounced the word like it was dirty or foreign in his mouth. You are going to end it with her. You are going to keep doing this little movie star lie pretending to date that nasty chick I have seen you posing with. You are going to find some way to end shit with your real girl, and give me the money that I need.”

  I lean in “What the fuck does my wife have to do with you wanting money.”

  “Nothing.” He grins “But you see, you don’t deserve someone like that, you are my son. I know you. You are nothing. Sure you have a bunch of girls screaming your name and buying shit with your face on it, but you have no talent. You have a pretty face that will only carry you so far. You don’t deserve a fucking thing you have. You are worthless Ryan, always have been. You are what men call mistakes. I should have worn a condom that night I fucked your mom, because you are the only regret I have in my life Ryan. I don’t care that you don’t like me. She knows you are nothing, she’s blind to it right now or maybe she knows and is using you, but I will tell you that if you do not listen to what I am telling you to do. Something will happen to her, and you will be sorry.”

  He hands me a business card “Call this number when you are ready for my accounting information.”

  I look up at him. I want to kill him. I want to cause him pain like he has been causing me my whole life.

  He walks away before I can do anything. Whistling a song as he goes.

  I clench my hands on the table, trying hard not to flip it over and knock out the person nearest to me.

  I order a bottle of whiskey from the bartender who looks at me like I have lost my mind.

  Over the next 4 hours I drink the whole thing.

  Jason comes in half way through and tries to get me to go upstairs. I just push him away. I think I tell him what happened with Seth, but after a while I can’t really remember what I have and have not done.

  Hours or minutes pass by, I have no fucking idea. I should be calling someone... Emmalyn I should be calling Emmalyn my beautiful wife. God she’s so fucking perfect. I don’t know how I was ever lucky enough to end up with someone like her, but I fucking love it. I love her

  Seth’s words ring back in my ear “you don’t deserve her, leave her or she’s going to get hurt. Maybe she’s using you… I knew Emmy wouldn’t use me, but maybe Seth was right, she is so fucking perfect there is no way someone like me could ever really land a chick like that. God every time I looked down at my finger and saw my wedding band I had to pinch myself.

  She put that there, my last name was her last name. She was fucking mine, and somehow I was being forced to throw that all away. I couldn’t do that.

  I knew I had to though. Dad didn’t have a built up business, but he did have the means to make something happened if he really wanted it to, and I couldn’t risk Emmalyn being hurt. I couldn’t live if something happened to her.

  Jason called Lacey, I heard him talking to her, while I was ordering another shot. Cindy and Katie came downstairs and tried to talk to me, but I screamed at them both.

  The last few days had been shit, not only was I away from my wife and pretending to date someone who I only considered a friend, but I was also being forced to share a hotel suit with this girl. I knew Emmalyn wouldn’t approve of that.

  Hell when she told me that she was watching freaking movies with Alex in our house I almost lost my shit, I couldn’t imagine how he would feel knowing that I was sleepi
ng in the same room as a woman who made advances on me several times.

  I heard Jason asking Emmalyn to come. Fuck. I didn’t want her to see me like this.

  I knew I was going to have to walk away from her until I could figure out what to do with my dad. I knew that it would hurt her, but I had no choice.

  Katie and Jason got me back to the suite, a few hours later I told Jason telling her he would be right back. She offered me a drink, I took it.

  I felt sick shortly after. I was getting really hot. I’ve been wasted before, but this felt like something else. I couldn’t sit still. I suddenly felt like I really needed to work out.

  The next thing I knew, Katie was coming into my room, half naked wearing some see through bull shit night gown and started undressing me. I wanted to stop her, but I couldn’t seem to talk. I tried. I kept thinking about Emmalyn and I knew I couldn’t do this to her.

  I fell asleep, when I woke up she had a condom on my cock and was sucking it. I tried to sit up but when a chick is sucking on your dick no matter what it’s kind of hard to stop.

  I couldn’t think of what I was trying to remember. I knew something was supposed to be happening, and the thoughts just weren’t coming, I felt heavy. She climbed on top of me and started riding my dick.

  She sucked. I don’t mean a little, the chick had no idea what she was doing. Emmalyn was a fucking virgin when I first got my hands on her, and she could fucking ride like nothing I had ever felt before.

  I flipped Katie over and she started talking to me I told her to shut up. My head was pounding, my mouth felt like I had cotton inside, but my dick was hard as a rock. But I couldn’t make it feel good. Not even slightly.

  The next thing I remember was hearing a gasp at the door. I turned to see who it was and noticed it was another chick.

  Katie must have had a friend come in. I looked at the girl for a few more minutes, trying to get my eyes to adjust when I realized that I KNEW that girl. It was Emmalyn

  I suddenly realized where I was and what I was doing. I sobered up but before I could move Emmy was smashing Katie in the face with a serving platter.