Crushed Page 12

  I stumbled across the room. I was trying to steady myself so I could talk to her, but before I could she was leaving. Why was she leaving?

  I looked down and remembered that I was naked still wearing the condom, Oh shit I was having sex with Katie, why the fuck would I do that.

  I tried to grab her to make her stop so she could listen to me, but she wouldn’t. I couldn’t walk straight, I was trying but I couldn’t make my legs work right. She just looked at me, and then grabbed the waste basket and threw up.

  Shit she’s sick.

  I walk towards her to try and hold her, she holds her hands up to stop me, and so I do.

  “You promised” she says, her voice sounds sweet, god I loved listening to her talk, but the heartbreak is evident.

  She turns and heads into the elevator, I run into my room and try to grab a pair of sweatpants to toss on so that I can chase her.

  Katie has blood pouring down her face, she’s on the phone “Cindy, she just attacked me, Ryan chose me and she couldn’t handle it, she’s fucking crazy.” I rip the phone out of her hand and smash it against the wall, it splinters into a million pieces

  “You need to pack your shit and get the fuck out of here now, and don’t you ever EVER talk about my wife like that again. I don’t know what happened here tonight, but it was a mistake. A big fucking mistake.” I say over my shoulder running towards the door to catch up to my wife. She’s gone before I get down into the lobby. All I see is Jason and he is looking out through the lobby doors. I look to where he is looking and see Emmalyn getting into a cab.

  I race past Jason yelling her name. Jason is trying to get me to stop, but I ignore him. I run out as the cab is driving away. Still screaming her name. She needs to know I have no idea what happened. I would never do that to her.

  I fall onto my knees on the ground, crying into my hands watching her looking at me through the back window. Jason comes running out and tugs me to the ground.

  “Come on Ry, let’s get back inside.”

  I stumble and let him help me in

  “Did you take anything else Ryan?” he asks me

  “Of course not, I just drank.”

  “Drinking doesn’t do this to a person, come on I’ll get you a shirt and then you and I are going to the hospital.”

  I don’t really hear him. I black out for a while, and when I wake up I am in a hospital bed.

  Jason is sitting beside me, texting on his phone

  “Hey.” I say, feeling stiff and sore. I have IV’s hanging out of my arm

  “Hey.” He says. He doesn’t seem happy

  “What’s wrong?” I ask him

  “I don’t even know where to start Ryan, but I will start with the fact that you were drugged. They found ecstasy in your system. Katie must have given it to you. You told me about the drinks in the hotel room.

  They are giving you liquids, the police are on their way to take your statement. If you ever want to get your wife back, not that you ever can at this point, Lacey says she’s fucking living. You are going to have to press charges for this one. Before you tell me about her being your co-star and being important to your job, let me remind you that you had sex with her this morning, and your wife, who I fucking adore like she was my own sister, found you, when she came to help you ass after finding out about your dad’s little meeting.”

  He doesn’t give me a chance to talk

  “We are getting you hydrated and then you and I are on the first plane back to L.A. and you are going to find a way to make all this shit go away, because if you broke her or she…” he stops

  I tell him about my conversation with my dad.

  When I am done he looks even angrier than before “So he’s going to come after Em if you don’t give him money?”

  “No, he’s going to come after her if I don’t listen to him and end things with her.” I explain

  “He needs to go Ryan.” He says narrowing his eyes

  I know what he means. I will need to reach out to Alex and see if the club can help with this. They hate my dad. Alex’s dad called in the favors that helped get my dad locked up in the first place. My friendship with Alex is when my dad started hating me, I would hang out at the club as a boy and my dad wanted in and the club wanted nothing to do with him.

  I just nodded, closing my eyes for another few hours.

  I woke up to the nurse taking my IV’s out and the doctor telling me no drinking for a while. The cops came and took my statement and Katie was arrested. I fired Cindy, but not before she told me that Katie had arranged for the whole “fake relationship” thing.

  I was shocked to hear that it was her idea. Katie was tiny, and she seemed so innocent, I guess that was really not the case.

  The cab ride to the airport I couldn’t think straight. All I could think about was trying to fix what Emmalyn had saw, I was drugged yes, but if I hadn’t been drinking I would have been in that position. I knew she wouldn’t forgive me

  It killed me that I wouldn’t be able to try and fix things with her. I would have to stay away from her until I could find a way to take my dad down. If I couldn’t do it my own way, I would have to reach out to Alex and the club and that would be a more permanent solution.

  But today. I needed to try and find a way to do it the right way. Even if it killed me to be away from her, I knew she would need time and that would give me time to try and make it right.

  Chapter 28

  Staying with Alex wasn’t bad at all. He was actually really doting. I could see why he and Ryan were such good friends. You wouldn’t know it by looking at them from the outside, but they were both very romantic.

  My morning sickness really kicked in... I couldn’t really hold anything down but I sure as shit tried. I knew the baby needed it.

  I finally had to break down and head to my doctor who gave me a prescription for Diclegis for my morning sickness. I was losing weight and had no energy for anything.

  Alex still cooked for me three times a day. The rest of the day he was out, he had club stuff to do. I met a few of the guys, Rob was really sweet, and he was married to a nice woman named Tiffany

  Mike and Lisa were another couple I met at the house. They were the age my parents would be, or were.

  I never went to the clubhouse. I asked once and Alex told me he didn’t want me to be tainted with all of the crazy shit that happens there.

  Alex’s feelings were clear. A few times he would lean in to kiss me when we were laughing about something. Then shake his head and think better of it and apologize.

  One night we were hanging out and watching a movie, and he was making fun of something I said, so I threw my popcorn at him.

  He took a handful and threw it at me, which lead to me pinching him.

  He grabbed me and threw me under him, tickling me causing me to turn red which he found hysterical.

  Suddenly his face grew serious, before I knew it, he was kissing me.

  His kiss was gentle, scared almost of what my reaction would be, but something he needed to do.

  I kissed him back

  I hadn’t seen Ryan in weeks. He called and texted constantly, but it stopped one day. I had heard nothing from him. Jason never mentioned him. Lacey wouldn't.

  We were done. Ryan had moved on, there was no reason that I couldn’t do the same.

  I had to let go too.

  But I felt the new life growing inside of me and that made it hard.

  I opened my mouth letting Alex flick his tongue inside. As soon as he did, all thoughts left me.

  I had heard that anything sexual while pregnant was amplified, that was no joke.

  Alex fully undressed me, and laid me on the couch, and began licking and sucking on my pussy I about came instantly. He was fucking amazing. He was so gentle, it was amazing.

  When he crawled up on top of me he gentle kissed each and every inch of my body until he reached my lips, kissing and sucking on my bottom lip.

  I felt him sit up and remove his
pants. He took off his belt as well. When he was standing naked in front of me, I had to pause to look at how amazing he looked. He wasn’t as muscular as Ryan was, Ryan was strong male model strong. But Alex was strong. He was covered in more tattoo’s than I realized, all over his chest and back

  They were beautiful, mostly black ink but he had one that looked fairly new that was blue and pink. I never thought I would see a many with pink. I leaned closer to look at the tattoo across his heart and I gasped.

  He knew what I was doing and watched my face to gauge my reaction.

  “Emmalyn” it read

  “You got my name tattooed on you?”

  “I did.” He said

  “Why?”

  “Because I am in love with you, I knew you were married to someone else, but I think that a great love only happens once in a life time. I think you own my soul. I could meet someone else, maybe someday I will, but she will never be you, and she will never be the love of my life. That’s all you Emmalyn I have never been in love before, I had to mark it. I have tattoos for every milestone since I turned 18. You had to be on there too.”

  “But what happens if you do meet someone else and fall in love, how will you explain that?” I ask

  “Easy, he says. Any girl I ever date will know about you, they will know that I loved you with everything if she can’t understand the importance of a great love, then I have no business being with her.”

  “How can you love me so much when you have never even had me?” I ask feeling shy

  “Another easy one, anyone who has ever spent any amount of time with you, falls in love with you Em, the nurses when Mason was born. When you left the room they would all rave about how sweet you were. Mike and Lisa, they both talk all the time about how amazing you are. The first day I saw you, I fell for you. I know Ryan said the same thing, he told me. But I didn’t know when I met you that you were his. When I met you I wanted you to be mine. I haven’t been able to push you out of my heart. I tried. When I found out you were engaged, when you married him and the day I found out you were pregnant. But no matter how hard I try, I take one look in your eyes and I want to crawl inside and love you forever. You might never love me Em, but trust me the love I have for you, is enough for the both of us.”

  Before I could say anything more he was kissing me again, rubbing his hands up and down my sides, pausing to touch my belly.

  He was always feeling my belly. I know he knew that the baby was Ryan’s but he was very protective, he would read to it, and sometimes when I fell asleep I would hear him singing. It was really sweet.

  Alex reached down and grabbed his belt and brought it up “I’m going to tie your hands up but down worry, it won’t hurt.”

  I let him do it.

  As soon as my hands were secured above my head he started kissing his way down my neck, and belly. Laying extra kisses on my beginning baby bump.

  When he was done he looked up at me through long lashes “I have been dreaming about this moment for months. Is it weird that I am kind of scared?” he asked

  “Not at all I kind of am too

  I thought about reaching out to hug him, but remembered that I couldn’t.

  He smiled when he realized what I was doing.

  He stood up over me and began to slowly stoke his length while his tongue flicked out to lick his lips.

  He was really enjoying himself, the pleasure clear on his face. He threw his head back a few times stroking faster and faster each time and then looking back at me with a fierce expression of lust I almost came on the spot. I wanted to touch him.

  Obviously knowing what I was thinking, he walked up to wear my head was and turned my face towards the side facing him. He bent down slowly and stuck his cock in my mouth, groaning loudly as soon as my tongue swirled around the bottom of it and sucking gently. I began to move my head back and forth while Alex started cursing and moaning my name.

  Before I could get too ballsy with what I was doing he removed himself from my mouth and laid back on top of me.

  As soon as he was situation on his arms so he was putting no weight on my stomach he entered me. I expected him to go hard and fast. Ryan always did that and I loved it. But Alex was different. I’m not saying better, because I would never say that, but Alex was concentrating, like if he went too fast this would be over in a second and he wanted, no needed to savor each and every moment.

  His thrusts were deep, but slowly, each time he pulled out and pushed back in he watched my face.

  I realized being watched so intently made this so much personal, and I loved that. I felt wanted, I felt needed and it was an amazing feeling.

  I didn’t need him to go harder, the sex was so filled with emotion on his part and starting on mine, that I was totally okay with it remaining at the pace it was.

  “Baby, yeah baby just like that” he moaned, I was squeezing my inner muscles I couldn’t reach him. I wanted to touch him and I couldn’t it was torture

  “I want to touch you.” I moaned

  He looked at me, and then reached up quickly, still thrusting in and out and with one hand unhooked the belt and threw it to the floor. As soon as he was done he leaned down and kissed me deeply

  “This is so much better than I thought it would be.” He grunted

  I took my hands to the top of his shoulders and scratched them down his back, I knew it hurt. I laughed when he yelled “FUCK” and then picked up the pace, while he was doing that he had both of my nipples between his thumb and forefinger and was squeezing, I thought that it would hurt, but suddenly my orgasm tore through me and I came hard squirting all over all over him.

  “Holy fucking shit that was the hottest thing I have ever seen Emmalyn” He tells me, still pumping

  I am watching him now, his eyes are closed like he is concentrating. He opens his eyes and looks at me “I love you, I know you can’t say it back but I love you so much. So so so much.” He’s just moaning and telling me how much he loves me.

  As soon as he is done, I feel the tears well up in my eyes

  Alex notices too

  “Shit babe, I didn’t mean to make you cry, was it that bad?”

  I laugh, brushing the tears away from my face “No, it was that good. I feel like I am betraying someone, I know I shouldn’t but I do.”

  He doesn’t say anything, just watches me. He gets up and heads into the kitchen and grabs a beer, and brings me a bottle of apple juice. Which makes me laugh, he knows how much I have been craving juice since I got pregnant.

  He sits back down beside me, pulling me into his arms as he brushes my hair back with his hands

  “I care about Ryan, he’s been my best friend for most of my life. I wanted him to be happy for so long Em, I even told myself that I could be okay with you being with him, if it meant that he would be happy.”

  “I knew that I was lying to myself, that I wanted you too bad, but that’s half the reason why I walked away. He didn’t appreciate you. I’m not saying that he didn’t love you I think he loves you more than he has ever loved anyone in his entire life. I can say that to you because I probably outside of you know him better than anyone else. But he didn’t put you first, and he did it more than once. Ryan knew what an amazing prize you were, he told me a few times how lucky he felt, but then he chose his job. If my dad came to me and told me that I had to pretend to be with another bitch and not you, I would knock him out, cut off my patch and never speak to him again. I wouldn’t let anyone tell me I couldn’t be with my girl. Ryan didn’t do that though, I don’t know what happened with him fucking some whore in the hotel and you walking in, I am sure someday we will find out more, but for now I will tell you that I worship you. I would lay down my whole world at your feet if I thought it would make you happy. I need to see you smile, I need it more than anything. I want you to be happy, I want your baby to be happy and I think that you feeling bad about what we just did, is more about you feeling like you were ripped away from this dream of happiness you had w
ith Ryan, one that he seems to have wanted too but not quite as bad. Because nothing or no one else made him make these choices. He may have been coerced, but he made the final choice, and that’s all on him, not you babe. You get to be happy too.”

  I cried again. For a totally different reason this time.

  Chapter 29.

  I was starting to show. I was about 4 months along now, and in a full relationship with Alex. It was hard. But he made it so easy. He was always showering me with kisses, rubbing my belly and when the morning sickness hit, he would always run into the bath room, hold my hair and wipe down my face. He was the sweetest man, he was rough around the edges. He swore like a sailor, and scratched his balls right in the open, but it made me like him so much more that he wasn’t afraid to be himself.

  I went with him to a party at the clubhouse. It was pretty crazy, and he stayed by my side the whole time. He would ask me every few minutes if I needed anything, or if I was too warm or cold. It made me thankful for him. I could have been doing all of this on my own. Getting over Ryan, preparing for a baby, but I wasn’t.

  Alex went with me on all of my appointments. My morning sickness was getting better, but I was still taking the medication, which made me pretty sleepy so getting out wasn’t something I did very often.

  We still didn’t hear from Ryan, I googled him a few times and saw that he had finished his show after he returned home. He was now telling the public that he was single and that he was never in a relationship with Katie Williams. He didn’t mention me, not that I expected him, but I did notice that he looked really sad in his photos. The ones where he was out and about, he always had a lot more scruff than normal. I always told him I hated the baby face look of men, and he always sported the perfect amount of facial hair. Not too much, and not bare.

  He didn’t smile for the cameras. Even when a fan stopped him for a photo, he would fake smile and it looked painful. The fans didn’t notice, but I knew what he looked like when he was happy. At least I thought that I did.