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  “Ah, you must be Holly” I said. “I’m Emmalyn, Ryan’s fiancé.”

  She snickered at me. “Yeah right. Ryan and I are a couple, I assume you are just another whore. You are done here, you can get your shit and get out.”

  I laughed, as soon as I did a baby crying in the background stopped Holly cold

  “Is that your kid? How old are you?” She asked with disgust in her voice. She started pushing me out of the way trying to get in. I shoved her forcefully back

  “This is my house now, I live here with Ryan, and you need to get the fuck out of here right now because I don’t give a shit what your brother wants. I will call the cops and have you nasty ass hauled off.”

  She looked scared “You can’t do that. Ryan won’t let you.”

  I laughed leaning in. “sweetie, you seem to think you have your claws in a man who screams out my name every night. I don’t have time for your shit, now get away from my house or you will be sorry because I will go to your brother, and I have a feeling he will listen to anything I say.”

  She looked scared, but a second later anger flashed before her eyes “So you are the whore that is breaking my brother’s heart?”

  “I am not breaking anything, Alex knows I am with Ryan.”

  “Alex knows that Ryan and you will never last. Ryan doesn’t do marriage. I am surprised he asked you to marry him, but trust me, he will do something to make you go away, and when he does, and I will be there.” She started laughing and turned to leave.

  “Don’t come back here.” I said

  Slamming the door when I went back inside.

  Ryan told me to ignore her, he said she will move on and find someone else soon enough.

  She scared me.

  Chapter 21

  Lacey was able to have Mason return to her, 2 months after he moved in with us.

  It was a tearful goodbye, but I was excited to have my time be my own again.

  I started doing Ryan’s errands again. For a while when the baby was here, all I could do was schedule his interviews and photo shoots. Everything else, he hired someone else to do until I was back up and running.

  I started going back to the set. I didn’t talk to Katie, and when they were not shooting she avoided Ryan and I like crazy.

  Ryan seemed happier to have me around. He was really big on showing everyone that we were together. Kissing and hugging. He even pulled me into his trailer for sex countless times.

  I missed having him like that, with nothing getting into the way.

  We started hanging out at Lacey and Jason’s again. I couldn’t get enough for Mason or Mace as Ryan started calling him, and Ryan seemed to be equally hooked on the cubby boy.

  Lacey and I started talking again. For a while I felt like I couldn’t talk to her, I was afraid that if something were wrong with me, she could tell and she would take on my stress as her own, as she always had.

  She and Jason were exhausted. Mace had started teething, and was keeping them up more often than not. I could tell that they were totally content with their lives as parents, but I felt bad for them.

  Ryan started talking about having a baby of our own after a while. I told him after we were married and he said we should start planning our wedding.

  He was excited for us to get married. When we were with Jason and Lacey he would talk about it more and more.

  Part of me thought it was because of the baby. He saw how close Lacey and Jason had become and he wanted that. The other part of me knew that he wanted to have a baby and I wasn’t sure I was ready just yet but I wanted to be with him, I wanted it to be official, I felt like I needed that. Between Holly and Katie, I needed Ryan to be legally mine and not feel this doubt in the pit of my stomach, like he would leave me at the drop of a hat.

  We planned for a while. But it didn’t feel right. I told him that I didn’t care about flowers or music.

  I didn’t want to deal with the press. That was one thing we were really good about avoiding, but the paparazzi would find out that he was getting married, and we both knew that it meant they would want to get photos.

  I just wanted to be married to him. So Ryan made a suggestion. He said we could go down to city hall. That won me over. We invited Jason, Lacey and Mason as witnesses and in less than an hour we were husband and wife.

  We couldn’t take a honeymoon. Ryan still had to work, and Cindy, his agent was a raging bitch. Who wouldn’t give him any wiggle room to take time off? He promised that we would take one as soon as the show wrapped next month, he didn’t care if Cindy wanted him to jump into the next project, he wanted to be with me, and I could tell he was hurting not being able to do so.

  I never understood Cindy’s issue. More times than I can count Ryan had considered firing her, but she helped him a lot when he was first starting out.

  She didn’t like me, and she made that known on many occasions. When I would walk in with Ryan to meet with her, she would also look at me in an appraising manner, like she was sizing me up. Screwing up her face in disgust many times, like I didn’t fit the ideal girl for Ryan or something.

  One day I stepped out to answer a phone call from Lacey to tell me that Mason had rolled over. We both squealed in excitement, and she sent me a few pictures and a video. I headed back in to join Ryan when I heard their conversation before I entered the room.

  “You need to keep your marriage quiet Ryan, half of your fan base is young women and teenagers, if you are off the market you lose your sex appeal and your fan base goes down. You need them, they buy the merchandise, and they pay to see you at press events. You don’t want to let all of this go over a piece of ass.”

  “That’s not what she is to me Cindy, you have been my agent for years, and I respect your views on most things, but not this. I married her because she is who I want. I won’t change for my fans. I won’t leave her because a few want to see me screwing my way through the phone book as opposed to be in an actual relationship and happy. I won’t do it, don’t ask me again.”

  I heard a forceful whisper, I couldn’t make out what Cindy was saying, but she was not happy.”

  Ryan sighed and said “I do.”

  “Then you need to keep this quiet until I tell you otherwise, tell her to keep her mouth shut as well, and we will act like it never happened until you get the next few roles. When you are put on the top of the map, which you will be soon enough, then you can tell the whole world about your dirty little secret.”

  I didn’t want to hear any more. Or listen to Ryan’s response. I walked outside and climbed into the car.

  45 minutes later, and 14 levels completed of Candy Crush completed, Ryan came back out. He didn’t look at me when he climbed in. He started the car and headed for Starbucks. It was out thing, we also got coffee when we were done doing his errands.

  I didn’t bother looking at him either. I knew he didn’t know that I had overheard his conversation with Cindy, but he almost seemed mad at me. Which confused me.

  I got out of the car before he had a chance.

  I headed into the store, placed my order and noticed that Ryan was still in the car. He was on the phone with someone and he didn’t seem happy. He was yelling at whoever was on the other side. His driver window was cracked slightly open. I heard him yelling.

  “I don’t give a shit what they want, I am not doing it. I will lose everything I have, I can’t lose this. I didn’t realize it would be considered a mistake, or I never would have done it I will take care of it just let me talk to Emmalyn, she’s going to freak out.”

  All I could think about was his conversation with Cindy, about marrying me being a mistake. I knew then that he would need to get out of our marriage.

  My stomach dropped. My hands started to shake and before I knew it tears were running down my face.

  He would leave me over his job. I wouldn’t expect him to have made any other choice a few months back, but now... Now we were married, that had to mean something. It did to me. It was clearly howeve
r, that I might be the only one who thought it mattered most.

  I turned left on the sidewalk. I was going to walk to Lacey and Jason’s, there was no point in getting into the car with him. I knew what was coming and I wasn’t quite ready to have my heart smashed in.

  Chapter 22

  Lacey and Jason lived about 10 minutes from Starbucks, and luckily they were quiet, residential streets, after you cleared the busy area where the coffee shop stood.

  I used my key to get into the house and found Lacey breast feeding Mason on the couch watching TV.

  She looked up at me, surprised that I was there. I walked across the room and sat next to her, kissing Mace on the head before I did.

  “Hey Em, what are you doing here?” Lacey asked me

  “Stalling on having my life turned to shit.” Was all I replied

  She paused. Not saying anything for several moments

  We sat there watching TV. Jason came in from out back, wet. He had obviously been cleaning the pool. He smiled at me, but his smile quickly turned to a frown “What did he do now.”

  Jason and Ryan had always been close, and I knew that Jason loved Ryan, but something changed when Ryan and I started dating, he became really protective of me and he started calling Ryan on his shit more.

  I sat there and told them about the whole Cindy conversation and the ranting phone call right after when we were at Starbucks. The fact that Ryan had not called my phone once and I had been “inside” Starbucks for 40 minutes now, made it clear that he wasn’t looking for me.

  Just then my phone beeped. I had my phone set for alerts for Twitter and obviously I followed Ryan.

  “Nothing feels better than life screwing you in the ass.”

  Then another

  “My fans mean everything to me, thank you for all that you do, @Katie_Amazing_Williams and I cannot wait to see you at the press event tomorrow”

  I looked up at them “well he’s tweeting, so clearly he is fine.

  He has a huge press event with Katie tomorrow. He leaves tonight, so I am sure we will talk at some point, I am not going to stress about it. I don’t feel good as is. I just don’t need any more on my plate.”

  The both looked at one another and nodded their heads.

  Jason went back outside to finish the pool and Lacey went down the hall to change the baby and put him down for his nap.

  I heard her phone ring, and I knew it was Ryan just on the tone.

  I looked down at my phone and saw that he had called me 8 times. After I saw the tweets I hit the silent button.

  “Jesus Ryan, calm the fuck down, what’s wrong?” Lacey said into the phone she sounded worried

  “She’s here, she’s been here for almost an hour, she walked over, and maybe you should have been paying closer attention to your wife than your twitter fans.”

  I laughed lightly, but worry crept in.

  He was mad, that I left? Like he would have stuck around to hear more in my position.

  I text Alex

  E: I think that Cindy is going to make Ryan divorce me

  He texted back a few minutes later

  A: Ok

  E: Ok?

  A: Yeah Emmalyn, I don’t know what you want me to say

  E: Forget it. I’ll delete your number, thanks for being a great fucking friend Alex

  A: I will always be YOUR friend Em, but I don’t give a shit about Ryan

  E: This is hurting me, if you can’t put your shit aside then that’s your issue

  A: He would never leave you

  E: Maybe you don’t know him quite so well

  A: The exact reason he and I are no longer friends

  I didn’t bother texting him back

  Not that I would have had a chance, two seconds later Lacey’s front door blew open and Ryan came storming through the front door. He looked pissed.

  He surveyed the room, looking for I assume Lacey or Jason

  When he didn’t see either of them he came at me.

  He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up.

  He pulled me out of the front door and led me to the car, opened the door. I climbed inside, before I had a chance to reach for my seatbelt, Ryan was taking it out of my hand and buckling me in. He locked my door and closed it, walking around the back to his side.

  I shot a quick text to Lacey to tell her I was leaving. She texted me right back

  L: I am looking out the window, he’s pissed Em, he was livid when he called looking for you, just keep me updated

  He kept looking over at me, I was looking out the passenger window, but I could feel his eyes on me every so often.

  When we got back to the house before I had a chance to open my door he came around and yanked it open. Pulling me out and grabbing my arm again.

  I noticed a blonde sitting on the steps. It was Holly.

  Really? This bitch wanted to go now.

  I opened my mouth to ask her what she was doing here, but Ryan beat me to it

  “Holly get your nasty STD infested ass off of our fucking steps before I call your dad myself.”

  She looked startled, like she hadn’t been expecting him to talk to her like that. She narrowed her eyes, when she saw his grip on my arm

  “We need to talk Ryan, I’m pregnant”

  Ryan had been trying to pull me into the house I stopped walking

  “When the hell did he have time to screw you?” I asked her

  Ryan looked over at me, “I didn’t, she came by the night you took off when Lacey had Mason and I wouldn’t let her in the house. She knew you weren’t here. She heard me yelling at Alex on the phone she’s playing games again and I am not in the fucking mood to deal with them.”

  I looked back at her, a smile on my face “Listen Holly, I know it must be lonely, being so disgusting and moral less, but Ryan is married, so you need to back off. I don’t ever want to see your face again. Pack up your shit and be gone. Your dad doesn’t want you, your brother doesn’t want you and my husband sure as shit doesn’t want you. So just go. Have a little self-respect and GO.”

  She took a step forward like she was going to hit me. Before she had a chance, I swung my arm back and punched her square in the face

  She screamed. Looked at Ryan like she was waiting for him to do something.

  I clicked my phone on, and dialed Alex’s number. He answered on the first ring

  “Hey Emmalyn” he said, sounding surprised that I was calling

  “Hey Alex” I felt Ryan’s grip on my arm tighten at hearing his former best friends name. “I need you to do something about your sister, she keeps showing up. I have told her several times to back off, but she isn’t getting it clearly. I just punched her right in her plastic fucking face and I swear to God if I see her again I am going to kill her myself. She’s disgusting.”

  Alex sighed into the phone, “she’s been on a rampage lately. I have people calling me left and right, she’s an issue. I will find her and deal with it. Thanks for letting me know Em.”

  I hung up with him, just as Ryan was telling Holly to get lost again

  As soon as she stomped her foot like a 10 year old child, she turned around to leave.

  Ryan shook his head in disbelief and turned back to me. Suddenly realizing what we were dealing with before we were interrupted.

  He unlocked the front door and pulled us inside

  He slammed the door shut, threw his car keys on the table by the door and grabbed me. He slammed me up against the door.

  It didn’t hurt, but it did startle me. His hand wrapped around my throat, holding me against the door.

  “Why the fuck would you just leave me like that, do you have any idea how scared I was?”

  He didn’t let me tell him what I had heard his lips came down on my hard covering mine his tongue forcefully entering my mouth, thrusting in and out.

  I couldn’t help the moan that escaped my lips. I wanted to still be upset with him, but I collapsed against him.

  He took his other han
d and pulled up my dress, he quickly pulled it up over my head pinning my hips against the door and grinding up and down, his erection already pressing against the zipper of his shorts.

  He wrapped his fingers around the front of my panties and ripped them right off of me causing me to gasp at the slight pain from the tug

  He didn’t wait to see if I was wet, he plunged his fingers into my pussy, pumped in and out a few times before taking them out to rub my clit thoroughly. I moaned again

  I looked up into his eyes. Anger and desire filled them, and something else….Sadness almost

  It was hard to breath. I wanted so badly to make him stop, and at the same time I wanted him to take me right there

  “You are mine Emmalyn, no matter what happens you are fucking mine. You don’t just get to leave when you don’t like shit.” He said still pumping his fingers in and out of me

  I notice that he was rubbing his length through his shorts, which is seriously hot

  I leaned forward and unbuttoned his shorts

  I reached into his boxers and rub the tip of him. He groaned at the contact and pushed my hand away

  Before I have any time to feel offended, he ripped his pants off, pulled me to the couch and sat down, pulling me on top of him

  I slide down on top of his erection, loving the feel of him

  He’s still angry, as soon as I sink completely down, he takes over. Lifting me slightly and pumping in and out at a racing pace. He’s not being gentle, he’s taking what he wants. He doesn’t stop. He never gets tired during sex until he is just about to come.

  “Touch yourself for me Em” he says, not stopping what he is doing

  I listen to him, as soon as I start rubbing that bundle of nerves my orgasm rips through me causing me to scream out.

  Before I come down, Ryan has me tossed on the couch so that he can lay over me, where he starts plowing into me even faster, his movements becoming jerky. I know he is close. He’s grunting as he goes “this is mine.” And “all mine” over and over again. When he comes, he stars saying “I love you so much” I don’t miss the tears forming in his eyes.