Crushed Read online

  Crushed

  By S.B. Alexander

  S.B. Alexander© Copyright 2014

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, alive or dead is entirely coincidental.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced to a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

  Dedication

  For the two lights of my life. I love you.

  Table of Contents

  Crushed

  Crushed Prologue

  Chapter 1.

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27 Ryan

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29.

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31- Ryan

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33.

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35- Alex

  Chapter 36-Ryan

  Chapter 37- Ryan

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Epilogue Three Years later

  Crushed Prologue

  I’m a book worm. A book geek. A lover of romance. I spend more time reading books, than worrying about the newest fashions. Books don’t steer you wrong. They might break your heart, but you will find another that will put it together all over again.

  The billionaires with fetish obsessions. The bad boy biker. The Alpha male who will kill anyone that dares to hurt the girl that they love. Those were the stories I loved.

  It always felt nice to take a step out of the real world, and jump into a world where you could pretend to be the girl dating the famous rock star. For a few hours every day, you could pretend to be someone else. Pretend to feel wanted, knowing that men like that would never cross your path. That you were average, and outside of your older sister, totally alone.

  Until it does happen. Until I meet the most beautiful man you have ever seen. One who goes through women, like I do books. A man who makes more in a year than I’ll will ever see in an entire lifetime. The sweetest, most complicated and gorgeous male ever created.

  He wants me.

  But he isn’t free

  This is the story of me. My life, my love, and my heartbreak.

  Chapter 1.

  Growing up, I had the best childhood. My mom Sheryl, insisted on being a stay at home mom. She made everything from scratch, she sewed our clothes, made our Halloween costumes and baked the best damn cookies you’ve ever tasted. She was beautiful in a 1950’s housewife sort of way. She was content to never work, she was content to take care of her family and she loved my father something fierce.

  My father George, was the most handsome man I had ever seen. He was a pilot for 35 years. Making more than enough money to take care of his family. He refused to work weekends. Every weekend as a family we would go on a road trip. My dad would come home on Friday afternoon, open a map of the state of California and we would pick a place to visit. Never the same place twice. We always collected mementoes of our trips, dad always drove, and mom always held that map and we always sang songs. It would be cheesy to anyone on the outside, but as a little girl I knew how lucky I was.

  I saw the other girls at school. Some of my friends had divorced parents. Some didn’t know who their fathers were. I always thought that was sad. I felt bad for them. I couldn’t imagine a world where I didn’t have a mom and dad who held hands and walked across the beach. Or kissed under the mistletoe every Christmas, or tucked us in every night. My sister Lacey and I were lucky. I knew that. I cherished that.

  Dad and I were closest though. He and I would go into his shed and build things, work on cars, or talk about boys. Dad was always telling me that I was never to date a boy who didn’t treat me like a princess “Peanut” he would say “if he doesn’t open doors for you, and tell you that you are the most beautiful girl he has ever seen every single day, drop him”.

  I would always giggle, but I knew he was serious. He was a wise man, but dad was very concerned with the way boys were. Lacey started dating when she was 16 and I was 12. I would see boys come to the door and dad would invite them in and grill them. Very few stuck around. Lacey would always get upset with dad and tell him that he was ruining her life. But I knew that dad just wanted what was best for her.

  I didn’t really feel the need to date. I liked boys, I had kissed a few but sex wasn’t something I was really that interested in. I was more interested in playing sports. I was the best female pitcher our girls’ softball team had ever seen. After every game my dad went to, he would take me for ice cream and tell me how proud he was of me. At night when I would kiss him goodnight he always said “goodnight angel, bless the Gods for finding me deserving of a star like you”.

  I was a week away from my 17th birthday, when my dad was killed in a car accident. Mom didn’t have many details at first. She picked us up from school to tell us, that dad was on the way to the airport for a 3 day trip when he was killed. Days later we learned that a drunk driver had fallen asleep at the wheel, and driven into dad’s lane. My dad was killed on impact.

  I feel like that was always something that police officers told families to make them feel better; “he was killed instantly.” Did that mean he didn’t have time to know what happened, did he think of us? Was he scared? There was no real way of knowing what he thought of last. What he felt. But I knew what I felt. I felt abandoned. I felt like the one person I loved most, who loved me most was gone.

  Lacey came home from college at UCLA and stayed with mom and me for 2 weeks. She helped mom plan the funeral. I was pretty helpless. I spent my days in dad’s shed. Looking at the cars, the unfinished projects that he and I had. Wondering what I was going to do now. Mom tried to make me feel better. She would come in at night, bring me a plate of dinner and tell me stories of my dad from when I was a baby. She knew what he and I had. She knew that our relationship was different than what he shared with Lacey. Lacey knew it too. It wasn’t a bad thing. Mom and Lacey always did things together. Dad and I were a packaged deal.

  Lacey went back to school and life went back to “normal”. I returned to my junior year of high school. I dropped out of softball. My coach was shocked and begged me to reconsider. I didn’t give it a second thought. The dreams of playing in college didn’t matter. My dad wasn’t there to root for me, I didn’t want to do anything that would make me feel like I was going on without him.

  Our family had plenty of money. In fact dad had been really big on making wills and updating them constantly. He left Lacey and I our own trust funds, that mom told me he had been working on since each of us was born. Between those and dad’s life insurance which was split into each fund (dad left money for mom too) Lacey and I had about 5 million dollars each.

  3 months into my senior year, my mom came home with a man. I was excited for her, as much as I could be because I knew how much
she had loved my dad. I knew the idea of her moving on and dating someone new was not an easy thing for her to do. Rick was the opposite of dad. My dad had blonde hair and blue eyes, was tall and handsome. Rick was slightly shorter, already sporting a beer gut and grey hair covered his head. His brown eyes were dark. Sinister almost. I didn’t care for him. But he was what my mom wanted, and he was rich.

  About 2 months before graduation mom decided that she wanted to move in with Rick. I would be 18, a legal adult so mom asked me if I wanted to come with them. I did, only because I felt I owed mom. It was pretty easy to say that Rick and I didn’t get along. He was a jerk, he drank a lot and he treated my mother like she was a maid. But there was a lot worse in Rick. Things my mom didn’t know.

  Rick had a thing for younger girls. Mainly me. When my mom was out shopping, or getting her nails done with friends. Rick would always knock on my bedroom door. The first few times I let him in. I didn’t think anything of it. He would ask me how my day was and I would always tell him. We would talk about homework, my friends and he asked a few times if I was dating anyone.

  At first I thought this was innocent. But then Rick would start asking every time he came in. Like he was worried that I was dating someone. I told him about Eric, a cute guy in my class who had asked me to prom and he told me I was “a whore who just wanted to fuck anything that walked”. I was shocked. Not as shocked as when he asked me if I was a virgin. I answered with a lie “no”. I wasn’t sure why I told him that. I was in fact a virgin. Ricks response startled me, he reached across the bed where I was sitting and pulled me to him. Grabbing the back of my neck and my gripping my hair tight in his hands, he started kissing me. I clamped my mouth shut refusing to give him any sign that this was okay. I tried to scream and get away, scratching him.

  He pinned me to the bed and started slapping me. Grabbing my wrists and forcing them up near my head. He lifted my night gown up and with his other hand started to remove the belt and buckle of his jeans. Just before he was able to get any further my mom came running in. Screaming at Rick to get away from me. Rick started yelling at her to get out and before he could turn back to me, I grabbed my purse and ran out the front door. Jumped into my car and left. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew that I would never again go into that house with that man.

  My mom called me a few hours later. I was sitting in the local diner, sipping on a strawberry milkshake. They were my dad’s favorite, I never needed him more than I did in that very moment.

  “Hello?” I answered, feeling the fear that it was Rick calling me, not my mom

  “Emmalyn where are you?” My mom’s fear ringing in my ears

  “I’m at the diner, where are you?” I asked

  “I’m at home, where else would I be?” she asked sounding calmer

  “Why are you there, do you need me to come get you?” I was starting to feel flustered

  “No, why would you come get me? Rick told me what happened I’m not mad at you sweetie, you have been through so much just come back home.” she replied

  “What the fuck are you talking about? Your boyfriend tried to rape me mother why would I come back there?” I shouted into the phone, feeling the bile rising into my throat

  “He told me that you came onto him, that you have been flirting with him and …..and expecting flirting in return.” She said, making it sound like if that in fact had been the truth, it was no big deal

  “And you believe him?” I asked

  “Of course.” she says

  I pause. Trying to think of what I can do or say next. She’s not going to leave him. She’s going to stay with the same man who 2 hours ago tried to rape her daughter.

  The sudden rush of bravery hit me. I knew what I needed to do.

  “Well, then I guess we know what happens next. I will come pick up my stuff in the morning with a police officer and that will be the last time you see me mother. Thank you for the vote of confidence. But just so we are clear, Rick tried to rape me tonight, and if you ever loved me or ever cared about me you will realize one day that you believed a man over your own daughter. My father would be turning in his grave if he could see you now.” and I hung up the phone.

  I grabbed a hotel room for the night, but was unable to sleep until I scrubbed every scent and touch of Rick off my body. I felt sick every time I thought about his fat disgusting hands on my body. I felt sicker when I thought about my mom believing a man she had known for 9 months over her own daughter. I had heard about widow’s becoming desperate to not feel alone, needing another man to fill that void. I suppose I thought that after a great love like the one that my mom and dad shared, my mom would take a little longer to ‘jump’ right into a serious relationship, but the fact that she had chosen to believe his disgusting lies over me hurt like nothing I had ever felt.

  I called Lacey as soon as I step out of the shower. Towel wrapped around my body, sitting on the bed unsure of telling her. I was worried that she would side with mom. That she would turn her back on me too. The fear was almost too much. I dialed her number 3 times and hung up after each ring. I set the phone down and stood up to get dressed. Thinking I wasn’t yet ready to have someone else doubt me, when suddenly Michael Jacksons “Billie Jean.” started blaring from my cell phone. Lacey was calling me

  “Hello?” I answered in a voice so quiet I wasn’t sure she would hear me

  “Hey bug, what’s with all the prank calls?” she asked, laughing at something in the background

  “Um... have you talked to mom tonight?” I asked, still not finding my confidence to keep up the conversation

  “No, she called I hit the fuck you button.” she said laughing

  “Rick tried to rape me tonight!” I blurted out

  I heard a bang, like something dropping then stomping and a door slam

  “WHAT?” She yelled into the phone

  I told her what had happened from the beginning. She had met Rick a few times and wasn’t a fan any more than I was, but she got to go back to her own home at the end of the day. She didn’t know how gross he really was. After I told her about mom and how I told her I would be collecting my stuff and I was done with her, Lacey was silent for a few moments

  “I am so sorry babe.” she said, sounding as if she was crying.

  I waited, unsure if she believed me or if she was sorry for something else. Before I had a chance to ask her she spoke up “get your shit and drive down here. You can stay with me until you figure out what’s next. I can’t believe mom would believe that creep over you, but I will take care of you. Just get here as soon as you can.” Her voice cracking.

  Tears started pouring down my face and the hysterical crying started soon after. Relief, pain of losing my mom, of almost being raped... It was all there

  “Thank you Lacey, thank you so much for believing me!”

  “Why would I not believe you Emmy? You are my little sister, you might be a pain in the ass but you are the toughest bitch I know and you would never make something like that up. I have to go let Jason know what is going on, but as soon as you are on the road in the morning let me know. I will see you soon. I love you.”

  We hung up, and for the first time in a while, I knew everything was going to be okay one way or another.

  Chapter 2

  The next morning I called my friend Lisa who works at our local police department and told her what happened. She and her partner Brett came right to the hotel and drove me over to my mom and Rick’s house. The second we pulled up into the driveway I felt like I was going to die. I was starting to shake, I was seeing spots in the corner of my eyes and thought I was going to vomit all over the back of the police car.

  Lisa walked me in, holding my hand while Brett stood behind us for “reinforcements” I think we all knew it wasn’t necessary, Rick might be willing to hurt me when he thought we were alone, but I knew my mom was home and he wouldn’t do anything to mess that up. When we got to the door, instead of walking in I knocked. Waited sev
eral moments and then my mom opened the door. I felt the bile rising once again. She looked perfect. As usual. Hair perfectly coifed, pearls on and a “home sweet home” apron over her dress. This wasn’t a woman whose daughter was here to collect her stuff the day after her boyfriend assaulted her. No, this was the woman who lived a perfect life and chose said boyfriend over her child. Something hardened in me right then.

  “Hey Sheryl” I said, with my best polite voice “I’m here to collect my belongings and then I will be right out of your hair.

  I took a step into the house and noticed Rick that slime ball with a smile on his face watching the Dodgers game. I wanted to hurt him. He knew what he did to me and he knew he was lying to my mother. He didn’t care

  I went into my room and started packing, I wasn’t even sure what I was grabbing at first. I kept thinking of that dirty man sitting 400 feet away in the other room. I just wanted to get out of there. I grabbed very few clothes instead deciding that the things that belonged to my dad were more important. I was just about done, when I glanced down into the bedroom waste basket and noticed that someone had crumpled a photo and thrown it away. I bent over and picked it up and saw that it was a picture of me and my dad at my last softball game where I was given the MVP trophy. Someone scratched my dad’s face off the photo and had written the words “slut” above my head.

  I knew it was Rick. I looked over at Lisa, who looked pretty shocked that someone would defile a picture of a dead man and his daughter. I handed her my suitcase and then Brett the larger one and asked them if they would walk ahead of me. I was thankful in that moment that Lisa was my friend, because I knew what I was about to do would have gotten me arrested with anyone else.

  I walked into the living room, my mom was sitting at the edge of the couch, looking uncomfortable clearly she just wanted me to get out.

  “According to George Mason’s will Sheryl, Lacey and I own the house. Lacey wants nothing to do with it, and I couldn’t stand to be in this town with either of you for another moment so I am going to call the realtor and rent it out this week. Your stuff will be boxed and sent to storage where you will be contacted to come and pick it up. Any personal belongings of dads, mine or Laces’ are going into another storage that you will NOT have access to. As for your money that dad left you, I hope it lasts you a long time because as of today I am done with you. I will never step foot in your home again. I will not be sending you Mother’s day cards, I will not call to sing to you on your birthday and when I get married you will not be invited. I’m going to keep living, that’s what dad taught me, to be strong, to be brave and to love the right people.”