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  “I was drunk, I think I drank half a bottle of tequila before I even made it to Jason’s last night, and then when I saw you and how hot you looked when you opened the door, I just couldn’t handle it. He watched you all night long, like I always do. I knew that look in his eyes. He wanted you too. Part of me was scared of losing my best friend over a girl, but more of me was scared of losing you to my best friend.”

  “So that’s why you were plowing into her from behind because you were scared, right in front of me?”

  He looks sad

  “It was that or beat the shit out of Alex, I had to hurt someone like I was hurting watching you kiss him, I figured you didn’t really care.”

  “I did” I said quietly

  “I know, I’m sorry” he says reaching out and holding my hand

  “I have one rule if you and I are going to date Ryan, you can’t cheat on me… No other girls, nothing like that can ever happen again.

  He looked at me, fear shining in his eyes “is that your deal breaker?” He asked

  I nodded my head “Do you have one for me?”

  He looked at me, then back through the windshield “Yeah, I do.”

  “Okay, what is it?”

  “Alex” was all he said

  Chapter 14

  Dating Ryan was less dramatic than I think we both anticipated. For the first few months, I held my breath somewhat. He changed after we started dating.

  He stopped drinking. He didn’t even drink beer when he came over to see Jason and Lacey.

  We hung out nonstop. When he wasn’t working, and I wasn’t running around doing errands for him, we were together. He insisted after the first 2 months that we were together that I start going on set with him. He would have me wait behind camera while he filmed his scenes so we could hang out between takes.

  We hadn’t had sex, not from a lack of trying on his part. I needed, no had to make sure that he was serious about what we were doing. As much as I loved being with him, I needed to know that if I gave him the last part of myself that I had control over, that he would understand how important it was to me.

  That’s not to say we did nothing, there was a TON of messing around between the both of us, Ryan taught me how to pleasure him, and it quickly became one of my favorite things to do. I loved his expression and the noises he made, especially when I knew they were because of me.

  Lacey and Jason were great about me always being gone and with Ryan, they always made sure to tell me that they wanted me to stay with them for as long as I needed, but Lacey was 6 months pregnant, I didn’t want to hog up their house while they were taking care of a newborn baby.

  I told Ryan one night, when we were sitting in his kitchen, eating his homemade chicken parmesan, that I was going to dip into my savings and buy a place.

  I had told him about my dad, about the life insurance and saved money. I also told him how important all that money was to me, that I didn’t ever want to feel like I was happy spending the money that I only had because he died. Ryan understood. He always made me feel good. Especially when it came to conversations about my dad.

  “Move in with me” Ryan said, setting his fork down with a huge smile on his face “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”

  “What do you mean, move in with you? We’ve only been dating for a few months Ryan.” I said

  “I know that, and I don’t mean move in and let’s get married tomorrow. I have 5 bedrooms in this house Em, and only 1 of them is used, you can take whichever one you want. You can even pay rent if you feel like you have to. This would be better all around, you would be closer so if I need your help, you don’t have to come over in the middle of the night anymore.” He was getting excited trying to sell the idea to me.

  “The only thing you call me for in the middle of the night is to make you those smoothies you like and to make out” I laughed

  “I’m serious Emmalyn, this could be perfect and we would have more time together which is a win win situation if you really think about it. We can go over and see Lacey and Jason whenever you want, but this will give them more time to get ready for the baby and you won’t have to feel like you are in the way when the baby is finally here. I want you to move in, it would make me very happy” he reaches for my hand and kisses it

  “Please?”

  I pause looking at him. I look around the kitchen then look back at him. He’s still holding my hand, with a hopeful expression on his face

  “Okay” I agreed

  “Thank god!” He shouted, standing up to pull me into a hug “let’s go get your stuff.”

  Chapter 15

  I moved in with Ryan that night. Alex came by and helped out

  We were seeing more and more of him. I think as soon as Ryan realized that I wasn’t going anywhere, he let his fear of having Alex around and losing me to him go. I also think he was seriously missing having his best friend around.

  Alex was a flirt, but after a while Ryan started ignoring it, just like I did. He would hang out and watch movies, tell us about what the club was doing, he had been a patched member for 4 months now. He never dated though, I asked him why a few times and he never really gave me an answer outside of “I’m waiting for the right one.”

  That was also the first night that Ryan and I finally had sex.

  I was in the middle of carrying a large box to my room, Ryan had insisted on doing the move ourselves, I don’t think he wanted a bunch of strange men carrying my stuff, and I really didn’t have that much.

  I leaned over to set the box down and felt him come up behind me. His hands wrapping around my waist and pulling me against his front. Using his chin, he moved my hair away from my neck and began to lay kisses down my neck onto my bare shoulder.

  “You look so much hotter, now that you live with me” he said nibbling on my ear

  “Seriously?” I asked “I have been in your house a million times Ryan, way to flatter a girl.”

  “Yeah, you’ve been here a lot, but all those other times I felt like I was borrowing you, at the end of the night I always had to send you back. Now you are mine, and I know what I want to do with you first.”

  Before I had a chance to ask him what, he reached his hand into the waist band of my yoga pants.

  As soon as he made contact with my clit, I threw my head back onto his shoulder. He didn’t waste any time leaning down and sinking a finger inside of me.

  “You are always so fucking wet baby.” he groaned

  “For you.” Was all I could say, right before I was brought over the edge by the noises he was making just from pumping this thick fingers in and out of me.

  “Mmm” he said, and I looked down to see him sucking my juices off each and every one, before putting the last one between my lips “you taste so amazing E.” he grinned

  He bent over and picked me up, carrying me next door to the master bedroom.

  He laid me down on his huge king size bed, on top of the softest comforter I had ever been on, I was always trying to steal it. When we would watch movies he would bring it down and we would snuggle under it.

  As soon as he laid me down, he knelt between my legs and slowly pulled my pants and the lace thong below them off. I sat up to try and help him, but instead pulled my tank top off, leaving my bra for him to deal with

  When he looked up, he had that sexy grin on his face “God I cannot wait to fuck you.”

  He tongue started its assault on my pussy, licking and swirling around my clit at a racing pace and before long I was coming again, screaming his name

  I pulled his hair urging him to move up and kiss me. As soon as his lips met mine, he began moving his hips up and down and side to side, teasing me while sucking on the side of my neck

  “Oh God Ryan.” I moaned

  “This is only the start baby, just wait.” He murmured, sucking on the lobe of my ear.

  He took my mouth again, hard and fast thrusting his tongue in and out of my mouth forcefully as his hips contin
ued to move without actually entering me.

  My desire for this man was tearing through me. I knew that I wanted him, but it was so intense I thought I was going to explode.

  Giving me on last sweet kiss, he sat up, holding himself above me by leaning on his left arm. With the other hand he reach between us, grabbing his length and rubbing his tip against my clit, I jumped at the sensation, having just had an orgasm seconds ago.

  He carefully positioned himself at my entrance

  “I love you Emmalyn, I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you and I am the luckiest son of a bitch in the universe because you are giving me this gift.”

  I smiled at him, “I love you too Ryan, so much.”

  Without another word he gently entered me. Just a little at a time.

  “I am going to do this quick, as soon as the pain goes away it will be good for you baby, I promise.”

  I nodded my head

  Ryan thrust his hips forward quickly, the pain slicing through me like a knife. I knew that there would be slight pain, but I didn’t realize it would feel quite like this.

  “Ahhh” I let out

  Ryan stopped for a moment. Without withdrawing. He lent down and kissed my neck, my shoulder and finally my lips

  “God you feel fucking amazing sweet girl.”

  Ryan waited a few more moments “Ready?” he asked me

  I nodded yes again

  He sat up so he could look at me, holding himself up on both arms the look of lust, love and desire was so clear in his eyes.

  He pulled out slowly, and then quickly pushed, pulled out and pushed back in. At first it was uncomfortable, and new but each time he did it, it began to feel better and better.

  He never took his eyes off of mine. Watching me intently. As soon as it started to feel good and I started to moan, he began going faster.

  “Oh baby, this is fucking great, you are so fucking tight” he groaned loudly

  I knew sex wasn’t quiet, but Ryan was louder than I expected, his noises only fueled my pleasure, I began to moan with him

  “Oh my God, god don’t stop please don’t fucking stop” I yelled

  He smiled, brow furrowed in concentration. Thrusting at a ferocious pace now

  I started to feel my orgasm building again

  “I’m going to come again” I told him

  “You can go baby, let go.” He assured me

  As soon as I let go, I arched my back, he didn’t let up on his thrusts, still pumping in and out as fast as he could.

  When he finally came, he yelled out “Fuck Em”

  Lying to the side of me right after, he began rubbing small circles on my belly

  “What are you thinking” I asked

  He stopped his ministrations

  “I’m thinking, that I have had sex so many times, too many times to count.” He paused

  I made a motion to move away from him, it’s not what I was expecting. Was he comparing me to them? Was I not good enough?

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t really know what I was doing. Sorry Ryan.”

  He ignored me

  “I was thinking that sex felt really good with those girls. It scratched an itch, it made me forget any pain or boredom that I felt…”

  “And then tonight happened, and I didn’t know that I could feel so much. I have never felt so good in my entire life, I felt like I was going to burn into a pile of ash just touching you. I have never felt anything like it, like my heart and my body wanted to crawl and live inside of you. It was amazing Emmalyn, epic and I want to do that again and again every day for the rest of my life.”

  Tears flooded my eyes

  “That is so not what I was expecting you to say” I laughed

  “Emmalyn, no one will ever be able to do that, to make me feel the way that you do. I won’t let them, I want you. For the rest of my life I want you and no one else.”

  He went on “you’re my everything princess.”

  Lacey wasn’t upset that I had moved in with Ryan. At first she asked me if I was sure, I think she was worried I was rushing. She told me if I ever needed her, she was there and I could always come back “home” to her and Jason.

  Soon after I moved in, staying in one of the guest bedrooms no longer really made sense. Ryan and I were having sex several times a day. Whenever I wasn’t working and he was home, he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of me. I couldn’t stop touching him.

  He was romantic, he was always gentle in everything but the actual act. It always seemed that when he touched me he was afraid I would break, but once he entered me he couldn’t control himself.

  I never wanted that to change. I never wanted the passion in his eyes every time he touched me to dim. I needed it like I needed my next breath.

  Chapter 16

  About two months later, Ryan and I were out on a picnic. He had a whole week off before he started his next project.

  He planned the whole thing and didn’t let me know what he was up to. I knew it was something, he told me to wear a cute dress.

  When I came down to meet him, he wasn’t wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt, instead he was wearing Khaki’s and a blue polo shirt. I told him once that it was my favorite because his pectoral muscles screamed at the tight fabric and it always made me want to drag him to the nearest bedroom when he had it on.

  When we got to the park, I noticed that we were alone. Which was rare. This was our favorite place. It looked out over the water, it was romantic, but there was always other couples there.

  Ryan had me wait in the truck while he went to set up. When he finally came back for me, I noticed that we were not quite alone. There was a man playing a violin, it was a beautiful song that gave me goose bumps.

  Rose petals covered the blanket Ryan had set up over the table, a wicker picnic basket sat in the middle, and glasses of wine were poured into the champagne flutes. It was beautiful.

  When he sat me down, he had a huge smile plastered on his face. He looked like a little boy excited for Christmas gifts.

  It was adorable.

  After we were done eating, we started talking about Lacey and the baby.

  “I can’t wait to hold my niece or nephew and spoil the shit out of that kid” Ryan laughed

  “I know, I am going to be the best aunt ever I will supply him or her with candy and then send them home and Lacey will kill me.”

  The sun began to set, and I thought that Ryan was getting up to start packing up.

  “Sit” he said

  I listened

  A few seconds later he pulled something out of his pocket and sat it behind him.

  “I love you Emmalyn, you know that right?”

  I nodded

  “I have never felt so much love in my entire life, as I have the last several months that I have been with you. I look forward to seeing your smiling face first thing every morning. I feel like a drug addict waiting for his next fix every night when I have to wait to come back home with you. I live and breathe for you. I need you like I have never needed anything in my entire life. I would walk to the ends of the earth for you. I want to spend forever with you.”

  He stood up and faced me. Then he bent down on one knee

  Holy shit.

  He looked at me, a tear in his eye “I want you to marry me. Marry me and give me forever Em, I want you to be my wife.”

  When he opened the ring box I gasped, it was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It was a large stone, which was never a huge fan of until now. The ring was perfect.

  He saw my face “I had it designed for you. I spent hours with Lacey at several different jewelry stores and we both agreed that neither of them really were “you” so I found someone who was willing to make one for me and I think it’s perfect, do you like it?” his confidence seemed to be diminishing

  “I love it” was all I could say, I was still in shock. I wasn’t expecting it

  He smiled again, straightening up

  “So, will you
marry me Emmalyn, will you be my wife?”

  “I will Ryan, yes!” I exclaimed

  He jumped up with me in his arms and twirled me around

  “Thank fucking God, you had me scared for a second there”

  When he set me down, he took my hand and placed the ring on my finger. Perfect

  “Thank you so much”. He whispered into my hair I felt the tear run down his cheek.

  He took me then, in the open park

  Only later did he tell me he rented the whole thing out for our special moment.

  Chapter 17

  Three months later, we were still unable to keep our hands from one another, but life was busy.

  Ryan started filming a TV show in LA. Which wasn’t bad, but it called for him to be on set for 10 to 16 hours every day. He always insisted that I be there with him.

  Katie Williams was a beautiful new actress. She was my age, and new to the world of fame. She was sweet, every day when I came on set with Ryan, she would say hello and we would chat while Ryan did his scenes.

  It was weird at times, because she was his romantic leading lady, but we became fast friends.

  We would invite Alex over and Katie. Ryan and I thought they would make an amazing couple. Alex never seemed really interested in her, but he would chat with her all the same.

  One night we invited them both over to watch movies. Alex and Katie sat on the couch. Ryan had a phone call and after a while when he didn’t return, I joined him to see if everything was okay.

  It was Jason, apparently Lacey had started feeling contractions and they were heading to the hospital. She was only 8 months, so she was a little early. He told Ryan he would call us as soon as they got there and knew more.

  We went back into the living room and told Katie and Alex what was going on. Katie didn’t look upset, she didn’t know Lacey, but she did say she would pray for them.

  I couldn’t really pay attention to the movie. I knew Ryan couldn’t either, we were both worried about Lacey and the baby. Alex seemed to be worried as well.

  Jason called back, as soon as Ryan’s phone started ringing we jumped