Dare to Live Read online

  Goose bumps flared along my arms as the elevator dinged. I slid away from the open doors and came face-to-face with the broad-chested, black-haired man who was making me swoon and sweat. “Kody, right?” I was playing coy.

  A wolfish grin lit up his angular jaw. “Jessie, right?” he teased. “Are you doing okay?”

  The hall was teeming with visitors walking by. “Did you come to find me?” Please say yes.

  “I was on my way to the men’s room. But my niece keeps asking about you. Would you mind stopping by my mom’s room? She’s in one twelve.”

  “Is your mom all right?”

  “Doc says there were some abnormalities on my mom’s EKG and that he wants to keep her overnight for observation to run more tests. But she’s fine and resting now.” Relief seemed to wash over him.

  Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I didn’t know why I was on the verge of tears over his mom. Or maybe I was thinking of my own mom. It had been four years since she passed, although her heart had been fine. Whether someone had breast cancer or heart problems, it didn’t make things any easier to deal with.

  I grabbed one of his large hands in between both of my small ones. “I’m so sorry.”

  He glanced at our joined hands then back up at me with a deadpan expression on his smooth, yet stubbled, face. I would’ve given anything to drag my fingers along his jaw or anywhere else on his muscled body.

  For a long second, we locked eyes. A butterfly winged through my belly. Kody’s dark, almost midnight-blue, eyes reminded me of a faraway place that included only him and me.

  When his long lashes swept across his strong cheekbones, I withdrew my hand. “I didn’t mean to touch you.”

  He licked his full bottom lip as he studied me. Maybe he was thinking the same thing as me—how he wanted to do things to my body that would make me scream his name. “Quite all right. Maybe I’ll see you in my mom’s room.” Then he sauntered down the hall.

  I stood for a beat to admire how his black T-shirt stretched across his strong back, how his jeans sat low on his hips, and how the nurses walking toward him ogled. A fleeting pang of jealousy hit me, and I squashed it down. I wasn’t the jealous type. Then again, I’d only dated one guy in nursing school, and that was more a friends-with-benefits arrangement. I also couldn’t say I’d ever been in love with anyone, not really in love to the point I’d wanted to give my heart and soul to a man. It wasn’t that I was afraid. With Lowell’s motorcycle accident and my mom’s breast cancer, I hadn’t had time for myself, and in some respects, I still didn’t. I had to work as much as I could to make ends meet for Lowell and me. Our finances weren’t anything to write home about. We got by, but barely sometimes.

  Kody placed a hand on the men’s room door then turned his head toward me with a come-hither look in those intense eyes.

  A flush of warmth traveled through me at lightning speed as two debates began in my head. The first one—whether I should follow him into the bathroom, lock us into a stall, climb up his hard body, and get lost in him for as long as I could. My body warmed as I pictured that scene. I hadn’t had sex in over a year.

  I smiled at him in return, seriously considering taking a step on the wild side. No doubt Roxanne would have been proud of me. But I had two issues. One, I wasn’t forward enough to corner a guy in a restroom; and two, I worked in this hospital. With my luck, a doctor I knew or a colleague of mine would walk in while Kody and I were all over each other.

  So I discarded all the sexy thoughts of Kody and wondered whether I should stop by his mom’s room—the other debate. I checked my watch. I had about twenty minutes left before I had to be back at my station. I couldn’t deny a little girl’s request, although I wasn’t sure it was appropriate to barge in. You’re a nurse. You have every right to check on a patient. Kody’s mom wasn’t my patient, but Roxanne did work in the ER, and my best friend would be more than happy to accompany me for moral support. Most of all, she would probably encourage me, or more like push me into Kody’s arms.

  Chapter 3

  Kody

  I was sauntering back to my mom’s room, when my phone rang. “Hey there.”

  “Are you around tonight?” Ms. Sharp asked in one of her sultry voices.

  “Wait. Don’t you have school?” I asked.

  Ms. Sharp was one of my former teachers from Greenridge Academy, and I’d asked her out last year. Our relationship basically consisted of hooking up every now and then. She didn’t want anything serious, and neither did I.

  “Not tomorrow. Besides, school will be out for the summer next week.”

  I didn’t keep track of schedules, but it was the middle of May.

  “My mom’s in the hospital. I’ll be babysitting my niece.”

  “Oh no. Is she okay?”

  I stopped outside my mom’s room next to a laundry cart. “She is. The doctor will know more tomorrow, but the EKG was squirmy. Ms. Sharp, let’s talk next week.”

  “Sure. I’m headed to the Cape anyway to hang with friends for the weekend. Give your mom my best. Talk soon.” The line disconnected.

  My mom wasn’t exactly a fan of Ms. Sharp, or I should say Audrey. I preferred to call her by her last name. It made me feel as though our relationship was less personal. Anyway, Mom thought she was too old for me at the age of twenty-eight. The seven-year difference between us didn’t bother me in the least. Not to mention, Mom also thought my former teacher was only using me. I had to chuckle when I found that out because Ms. Sharp and I were taking advantage of each other. I couldn’t bring myself to tell my mom it was just sex—and great sex, I might add.

  Regardless, Mom wanted to see me with a steady girl. My brothers—Kross, Kelton, and Kade—all had significant others, although Kross was the only one married. We’d been waiting for Kade to pop the question to his girl, Lacey. As for Kelton, he’d said that he and Lizzie wouldn’t get married until he was done with law school.

  I was about to go in, when a nurse ambled toward me with a look of “I’ve got a secret” written on her face. I tilted my head at the pretty lady, whose name tag read Roxanne. “Do I know you?”

  She latched on to her stethoscope that hung around her neck. “No. I was going in to check on your mom. I told my friend Jessie I would.”

  So, Jessie, the nurse who had turned my world upside down with one smile, had talked to her friend about me. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. Inwardly, I frowned. I would’ve preferred to see Jessie.

  I pushed in the door, holding it open for Roxanne. She immediately went over to Mom’s side. Raven was in Dad’s lap in the chair beside Mom’s bed.

  Roxanne made quick work of checking Mom’s vitals. “How are you feeling, Mrs. Maxwell?”

  “No pain,” Mom said. “The blood thinner helped tremendously.”

  Roxanne kept her focus on her watch as she pressed her fingers to my mom’s wrist. “If I may say so, Mrs. Maxwell, you look like you could pass for Liz Taylor’s sister.”

  My mom got that a lot, and she did resemble the famous actress, with her black hair and striking blue eyes. Only today, instead of her pink cheeks, her face was pale.

  I sighed quietly, knowing at least my mom was in good hands in the hospital. I was slowly coming out of the depression I’d been in and out of for years, and another downward spiral would have ended me.

  My dad puffed out his chest a bit as Raven smiled, showing that one lone dimple on her cheek, just like Kross had.

  Man, I hoped and prayed that whenever I fell in love and got married, I would look at my wife the same way my dad regarded my mom, with so much love and devotion even after twenty-five years of marriage.

  Someone cleared her throat. Roxanne’s head jerked toward the open door.

  I glanced behind me to find Jessie waving at everyone.

  Like in the cafeteria when I’d first seen her and again outside the elevator, I got this weird feeling in my gut, even more so when she’d held my hand in hers. Then she smiled, and I had to grip the rail of th
e bed. Christ. This girl had some sort of magic juice in that smile of hers. Combined with those chocolate-brown eyes, her smile was igniting some areas of my body that didn’t react on a first glance to any woman.

  Ms. Sharp sure could set me ablaze, but only after some good foreplay, although her large breasts were enough to get me started.

  Raven bounced off Dad and walked straight up to Jessie. She grasped Jessie’s hand then pointed to my parents with her free one. “This is my nana, and that’s my papa.”

  “I’m Jessie. I met your granddaughter in the cafeteria.”

  “She was crying, Nana,” Raven said. “Why were you crying, Jessie?”

  I snagged my niece into my arms. “That’s not polite.” Although I wanted to know the answer as well.

  Raven rested an elbow on my shoulder. “But Uncle Kody, you saw her crying too.”

  Jessie gnawed on her bottom lip as she eyed her friend, who was now checking Mom’s blood pressure. “I hope I’m not intruding.”

  “Not at all,” Mom said. “Do you work in the ER?”

  “No, ma’am. I’m a surgical nurse. I work upstairs. But you’re in good hands with Roxanne.”

  “Nana, can Jessie come to the cookout on Sunday? Please?”

  “Sweetie,” Dad said. “Let’s see how Nana is doing tomorrow.”

  Raven pouted. “But my mommy and daddy are coming home. You said we could have a party down by the lake.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say. We had dinner at our house just about every Sunday. It was our family tradition. But with Mom in the hospital, we might have to forgo the family dinner, although I was rooting for Raven to get her way just so I could get to know Jessie more.

  Roxanne jotted down my mom’s results on a pad she’d produced from the front pocket of her uniform.

  Mom smoothed out the blanket at her sides. “If I go home tomorrow, then we’ll have the cookout. But you’ll have to help me with the cookies.”

  Raven wiggled to get down, but I held her tightly. I didn’t want her jumping on Nana, particularly when my dad had to get approval from the head nurse to let Raven in the room.

  “Jessie, will you come?” Raven asked. “Please.”

  Please say yes.

  Jessie and Roxanne locked eyes, and something passed between them that I couldn’t put my finger on. Then one side of Roxanne’s red-painted lips turned upward.

  Jessie’s chocolate gaze skimmed over me to Raven.

  “You’re welcome to join us,” I said. “You can bring Roxanne.”

  Roxanne nodded once to Jessie.

  “Sure,” Jessie said.

  An image of me jumping up and down like Raven usually did when she got her way flashed before me.

  Raven clapped. “Yay. We can go out on the boat that Papa has.”

  And I get to see Jessie in a bikini, at least I hoped. That thought stirred heat so far south that my cheeks had to be as red as fuck. Kelton had a mantra for warding off an erection. I had nothing, but only because I’d never had a problem controlling myself until Jessie.

  Thankfully, Raven spoke, dousing the flames burning my body. “You can meet my mommy and daddy.”

  Jessie and Roxanne giggled, along with Raven.

  Dad angled his head. “Jessie, is your last name Ryan, by any chance?”

  Jessie nodded, and a stray hair fell forward. I started in her direction on the impulse to feel her silky strands in between my fingers until my dad spoke.

  “I heard your mom passed,” he said. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  Jessie stiffened, as did Roxanne, who was now crossing the room to stand beside her friend.

  “How do you know my mom?” Surprise laced Jessie’s tone.

  My own mom had a curious expression. I did as well, but not because I was wondering how her mom died. I was more interested in how my dad knew her mom.

  My dad crossed one leg over the other. “I met her in church, and we would talk afterwards. She came to see me a couple of times.”

  “My husband is a psychiatrist,” Mom said in reaction to Jessie’s eyes opening wide.

  Jessie’s body deflated. “Oh. I didn’t know she’d seen a psychiatrist.”

  The room fell silent.

  I wondered if her mom was the reason Jessie had been crying in the cafeteria. I had the sudden urge to wrap my arms around her and tell her she wasn’t alone. But Raven decided to get comfortable in my arms and rested her head on my shoulder.

  “Does your family still own that mechanic shop in town?” Dad asked.

  Jessie clasped her hands in front of her, almost squeezing them together as her expression turned somber. “Yes, sir. We work mostly on motorcycle engines now.”

  My muscles instantly went rigid as though I’d become a statue at the mere mention of the word ‘motorcycle,’ which made me think of Mandy. “What types?” I knew some shops specialized in certain models. Mandy had had a Yamaha, and she’d always bragged about a guy in town who was an expert with fast bikes.

  Jessie’s face brightened. “Racing bikes, mostly, although my brother and I can work on Harleys too.”

  My dad perked up. “I love Harleys.”

  It was my turn to scrunch my face. “Since when?” He’d never talked about motorcycles. He did, however, restore old cars, although he hadn’t dabbled in that since my mom had moved back home from the mental health facility.

  “I used to have one in college,” Dad said.

  My mom gave him a loving look. “We enjoyed riding.”

  My dad reached out to grab my mom’s hand.

  The word we made me drop my jaw. “You like to ride too?” I slanted my head at Mom.

  “I loved it,” my mom said, eyeing Dad as though she was ready to go riding right then.

  Raven stirred in my arms. “I want a motorcycle.”

  Everyone laughed except me.

  “We should both get back to work,” Roxanne said. “Mrs. Maxwell, I’ll check in later, before my shift is over.” She tugged on Jessie’s hand.

  “It was nice to meet you,” Jessie said. “Oh, and as far as Sunday, what time and where?”

  Dad pushed to his feet. “Around noon, and our address is listed in my wife’s medical paperwork I filled out earlier.” He crossed the room to Jessie, pulling out a business card from his wallet. “Again, I’m so sorry for your loss, and I didn’t mean to throw you off guard.” He handed her his card. “If you ever need to talk, give me a call.”

  Her throat worked. “Thank you.” Then she followed Roxanne out.

  Once the door was closed, I found a spot at the end of the bed and set Raven down. “Nana needs her rest, so no cuddling up to her.”

  “She’s fine,” Mom said. “Come sit with me.” She patted a spot on her right. “You look sleepy.”

  Raven crawled up to my mom and snuggled into her as my mom draped an arm around her.

  I had so many questions for my dad. He knew a lot about Jessie. He’d never shared his love of motorcycles with me. I was curious if that was because he knew I didn’t like them. More than that, Jessie had beamed when the topic of motorcycles came up.

  A chill skittered through me. No way and no how could I get involved with a girl who rode. I’d vowed I would never do that again. In fact, as much as I loved an adrenaline rush, motorcycles weren’t my gig. I believed that anyone who rode was doomed. It wasn’t if an accident would happen, it was when, and only because of the other drivers on the road.

  Regardless of my hang-up, one question stuck out. “Why did you give her your card?” My dad was extremely perceptive when it came to people’s feelings, as he should given that he was a psychiatrist. But he didn’t hand out his business card to everyone he met.

  Dad sat back down. “I hear conversations at church about the Ryans. Jessie and her brother have had a hard time since their mother passed away of breast cancer.”

  “And their father?” I asked.

  “He died of a heart attack years back, according to her mother.”
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br />   When my dad said heart attack, I glanced at my mom. I couldn’t imagine life without her, or my dad for that matter.

  My mom was rubbing Raven’s arm. “So sad.”

  A loss of life was always sad.

  “She’s a pretty lady,” Mom said, eyeing me. “A surgical nurse too.”

  I picked at a nail, bracing myself for one of my mom’s talks about me finding a girl to settle down with. In some cases, I didn’t mind when Mom asked if I had any plans of getting married someday. I wanted a wife and lots of kids. I wanted a big home, like my mom and dad, with lots of land to roam, and I wanted to pass our family traditions down to my kids. But with Kross married, and Kade and Kelton almost to the point of marriage, the pressure on me to find someone increased. Even my brothers ribbed me every now and then.

  “Now, honey,” Dad warned. “We don’t need to be fixing Kody up with anyone.”

  Jessie was no doubt beautiful, but my heart wasn’t ready, and the fact that she was into motorcycles gave me reason to back away—far away. Maybe I should ditch the cookout. You know you can’t. It’s family time, the time you cherish. It wasn’t as though I had to chummy up to her. Besides, Raven would garner all her attention.

  “Did you call Kade?” I asked Dad.

  Mom narrowed her gaze. “Kody, you need to take a chance on someone. You can’t be single all your life. Besides, I saw the way you looked at Jessie.”

  But did you see how my body stiffened when the topic of motorcycles came up?

  I wasn’t about to argue with Mom, and the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint her. But I wasn’t about to be forced into something I wasn’t ready for.

  “I’m not ready to settle down.” I wanted to kick-start my music career if I could get past my writer’s block that had set in recently.

  “Son,” Dad said. “Kade and Kelton should be here any minute.”

  Thank God we were back on the topic of my brothers. I didn’t want to get the third degree on why I wasn’t out there, looking for my future wife, or how Jessie was the right girl for me. Nevertheless, I walked around to the other side of the bed. Careful not to disturb Raven, who was now sleeping, I kissed Mom on the cheek. “I know you want what’s best for me. I promise I won’t be single forever.”