Dare to Live Read online

  I’d never thought about any of that. “I wanted to make sure you two weren’t going for each other’s throat. If I would’ve run to you, like I’d wanted, then Mack might have gone crazy. I didn’t want to take that chance. I’m tired of all the fighting. I’m tired of worrying if one of you is going to end up in the ER. I have my brother to worry about. I don’t need to play Mom to my boyfriend and my friend.”

  Kody’s jaw loosened. “Boyfriend, huh?”

  I pushed out a shoulder. “Maybe.”

  “I like the sound of that,” he said in his raspy voice before he captured my lips in his and kissed me like a man possessed. “All I thought about this past week was tasting you. But now that I have, I want more.”

  I glanced at Mack’s car then up to the house.

  “Do you have to go back to work?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I told Lowell I would cook tonight.”

  Disappointment colored his face.

  “But there are leftovers in the fridge. I’ll text him.” I had to start cutting the apron strings. Lowell was a big boy and self-sufficient and could whip up his own meal, and he was eating better now that he’d come clean about our depressing financial situation.

  Kody sized me up as a slow grin emerged. “Are you wearing a bra and panties underneath those scrubs?”

  I felt a crease form in between my eyebrows. “Where did that come from?”

  “We’re going swimming, and if you’re naked under your scrubs, then so be it.”

  He didn’t give me time to answer. He grabbed my hand, leading me down to the lake. I could use a refreshing dip in the cool water. With as hot as the weather had been, I was banking on the water being cold.

  I texted Lowell.

  Kody, on the other hand, took off his shirt and started stripping along the way.

  I giggled as he unbuckled his belt. “Aren’t you afraid your parents will come down?” I hadn’t thought of that until I asked him. “Maybe I’ll just go in with my scrubs on.”

  “Nonsense,” he said. “They just got home from a long trip. They know you’re here. They know we want privacy, as do they. So no worries. Besides, a bra and panties is like wearing a bathing suit, anyway.”

  He had a point on the bra and panties. Good thing I was wearing a matching set that had a sexy combination of lace and bows.

  As I was about to pocket my phone, Lowell texted back, saying no problem on dinner.

  How did it go with Mack? Lowell asked.

  I tapped out, Better than expected. I’ll tell you everything later.

  How much later, I wasn’t sure. I did have an early shift in the morning then my mammogram in the afternoon.

  No sooner had I hit the send button, than my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number. “Hello.”

  “Jessie, this is James Robinson. Do you have a minute?”

  My eyes went wide at Kody. “Sure, Mr. Robinson.”

  “Please, call me James. We’ll be working together, or at least I hope we will. So James is best.”

  I blew out a breath. “Okay,” was all I could say. Or maybe I couldn’t speak because Kody was in nothing but his boxer briefs, showing off his muscled body, with a sexy grin on his face.

  “Jessie, are you all right?” Mr. Robinson asked.

  I shook off the thoughts of touching Kody’s abs. “Yes. I’m here.”

  “Can you come by The Cave tomorrow around five?” he asked.

  Kody watched me intently.

  “Um. Sure.” My mammogram was scheduled for two, so he had perfect timing.

  “I need to call Kody. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Wait, James. Kody is standing right here.” I handed the phone to Kody.

  “Hey, Mr. Robinson,” Kody said. “Sure. Sure. I’ll be there.” Kody pressed the end button then handed the phone back to me. “He’s going to offer you a deal.” He lifted me in the air.

  I didn’t know how I felt about that, or even what that meant. “What about you?”

  “He’ll pay me for my song, but he wants me to be part of the band.” Kody set me down. “He’s also offering Jake a role. It’s time to celebrate. Time to strip.” No sooner had he said the word “strip,” than his penis started to grow.

  Suddenly, band, deal, singing, contract, and everything else on my mind vanished as I inhaled a sharp breath. I’d seen Kody naked, but that was a month ago, and I’d been quite nervous. Not to say my pulse wasn’t freaking out as I raked my gaze over his sweat-sheened body. I followed the line of hair from his navel down to the waistband of his bright-yellow boxer briefs.

  I licked my lips. “You’re leaving those on, right?” I pointed at his briefs. Not that I would mind him taking them off, but it was broad daylight, and I didn’t want to risk his parents seeing us.

  One of his eyebrows winged up. “I can take them off.”

  I was tempted to look around to see if anyone was watching, but I couldn’t take my eyes off his muscular thighs or his full-on erection.

  “Baby doll, if you keep salivating like that, I will get naked and then strip off your clothes.”

  Please do.

  His eyes darkened to a deep blue, or maybe it was the cloud that passed over the sun. He inched backward into the water. “The water feels good, but you’ll feel better against me. What are you waiting for?”

  To get the courage to strip down. I peeked over my shoulder. The garage blocked the house. So his parents couldn’t see us unless we walked down the shore, and even then, the view would have been obscured by the trees. I set my phone in my pocket, lifted my flowered top over my head, then removed my shoes and pants. When I was standing in my light-pink panties and matching bra, Kody snaked out his tongue as though he was ready to attack me.

  I dipped my toes into the clear water and squealed. The water was far from warm or cool. The icy sting sent shivers up my legs and arms.

  “Jump in quickly,” he said.

  I crossed my arms over my breasts. “I don’t see you diving in.”

  On my statement, he did exactly that. I waded in farther until the water came up to my waist, but before I had a chance to take the plunge, Kody swam up and snaked his hands around my waist. I latched onto his neck as he treaded backward. The more the water covered my body, the more I squealed until I was completely submerged up to my neck.

  “I take it you know how to swim,” he said.

  “Yes.” My parents had made sure Lowell and I learned how at a young age since my dad had a boat.

  Kody kissed my cleavage. “Follow me.” He let go and started swimming up and away from civilization. “I know a spot where we can hang for a little while.”

  I bet he knew all the hiding holes around the lake. I would’ve given anything to have grown up there. The area was a secluded getaway with no other homes or properties for miles, I would guess. I took my time, enjoying the view of the tall trees, the birds singing, and absorbing the late-afternoon sun as I swam behind Kody. At first, I thought he was headed to that spot his dad had taken me where they had the memorial for Karen. But Kody was heading away from that area, although to the same side of the lake as the memorial.

  I stopped midstream to tread water and take a breath. I was in good shape, but I didn’t work out every day. When Kody reached the shore, I doggie paddled for a bit until I was close to him, then I swam the rest of the way. By the time I got out of the water, my arms felt like saltwater taffy.

  “Please tell me we can walk back.” I laughed but was completely serious.

  He shook his head like a wet dog then ran his hands through his locks. “There’s a trail that will take us around the lake back to my place. Don’t worry. I won’t let the bears get ahold of you.” He grabbed my hand and led the way through a cluster of trees.

  My antenna was up, mainly to ensure I didn’t step on a rock or branch as I followed Kody deeper into the wooded forest. Before long, we came to a spot that had a tent, four chairs, and a small fire pit surrounded by thicket and dense tree
s.

  “Do you bring all your women here?” I teased… mostly.

  “Not at all. This is a spot where my brothers and I hang out sometimes in the summer. Well, not as much as we used to when we were in high school.”

  I shivered until his warm hands went around my waist and traveled up until he reached the clasp of my bra. Within a flash, my bra fell to the ground. My nipples stood at attention. My mind wandered for a brief second as I thought about my breasts, then I tossed any depressing thoughts aside. I was with a gorgeous man in the middle of nowhere, and this wasn’t the time to dwell on the future or what lay ahead for me.

  “You’re fucking beautiful.”

  My heart beat against my ribcage. Boom. Boom. Boom. Any shyness or concern over who could have been watching had completely evaporated, especially when I began feeling my way around every dip and valley of Kody’s abs and chest.

  Biting my lip, I dragged a nail down his abs, slow and steady, and when my finger landed on the waistband of his briefs, I stopped.

  His eyelids became heavy as his chest rose and fell.

  For a long beat, I didn’t move, and neither did he. It was as though we were waiting to see what the other would do. Or maybe he was trying to convince himself to be gentle.

  Screw gentle.

  I latched onto his erection through his briefs and squeezed.

  His eyes rolled back in his head as he growled.

  Heat, hot and urgent, flew down my body and settled between my legs. To say I was wet was an understatement. I peppered kisses down his rock hard body, not letting up on playing with his erection.

  His hands dove in my hair as he continued to spew moans. The light around us grew dark as I found myself in another world with the man I wanted to be with forever.

  He bent over slightly, capturing a nipple into his mouth. He teased and tugged then gave my other nipple equal attention.

  I arched into him, gripping onto his biceps before I dug my nails in.

  “That’s it, baby doll. Harder. Dig into me harder.” He sucked on my breasts, his tongue swirling before he nibbled. Then he repeated the process over and over again. The sensation was driving me to squirm and moan.

  “Kody,” I said in a breathy voice. “I need you inside me. Like now.”

  He kissed his way down my body. “Not yet.” He slid my panties down to my ankles, and I stepped out of them. “I would rip these babies off if you didn’t have to walk back.”

  I laughed as I held onto his shoulders.

  He placed his large hands inside of my thighs. As though we were in sync, I widened my stance. He dropped to his knees and lifted his hooded gaze up to me. A bevy of emotions pooled in his blue depths, but one stood out above all the rest—love.

  My legs began to tremble, and not from anticipation of what I knew was about to happen, but because a man had never looked at me with that much love or want or need.

  Without taking his eyes off me, he slid a finger inside me. I whimpered.

  Then he kissed and licked a path up one thigh then the other. His assault on me was exhilarating as he teased me, always getting close to my bundle of nerves, but never touching.

  “Please, Kody. I beg of you.”

  He pushed in another finger as his tongue snaked out to graze my clit. I flinched so hard, he had to steady me with his hands on the backs of my legs.

  Then he did it again.

  I saw stars, bright and blinding.

  I snaked my hand in between us, wanting to play with myself, to get some relief, or else I was going to scream. But the man had other plans. He popped to his feet and tore out of his briefs. When he did, his erection made me whimper. I lowered myself, took him into my mouth, and sucked.

  “Holy fuck, baby doll.”

  I loved my pet name. I loved him. I loved everything about him. I wasn’t saying that because I was ready to climax or because I was drunk on him. I’d never felt strongly connected to someone else before. Kody stole my breath, my heart, and he had a lock on my soul.

  I massaged his shaft as I took and tasted and played. He gripped the side of my head gently, playing with my ears as he moaned, a sound that sent delightful shivers all over my body. There was something about being naked amid nature that was quite erotic and freeing.

  “Jess.” He said my name with pain in his voice. “We need to…”

  I released his erection as I glanced up at the Maxwell god. He helped me to my feet and brought me into the tent. I didn’t have a chance to check the ground, but I didn’t care. As long as I felt his weight on top of me, I couldn’t care less if I had sticks poking me in the butt. I was pleasantly surprised when I felt something rather soft.

  I giggled as I adjusted myself with him hovering over me. “A blanket.”

  Before I had the chance to register the blanket, Kody made quick work of settling in then sucking on my clit. My body came off the ground as I mewled and moaned so loudly, I swore the animals would gather around us.

  “That’s a beautiful sound,” he said in between licks.

  I latched onto my nipples and played as I rocked into him. My breathing labored, and a fluttery sensation gripped me as Kody took me to a place far better than he had when I was with him last if that were possible.

  I cried out, saying his name over and over again. He kissed me everywhere until I was a pile of mush. Then he slipped his hand underneath the blanket and produced a condom. I didn’t want him to wear one. I wanted to feel him inside me. But I wasn’t about to protest. We were in a groove, and he had the condom on in two seconds flat.

  Then before I could take my next breath, he rose up and thrust inside me, hard and fast. He groaned, and his biceps bunched as he stared down at me.

  “I love you, Kody,” I said.

  He answered me with a thrust then a heated kiss that was wet, hot, and sloppy.

  Our bodies were slippery with sweat, and the glorious friction enhanced that feeling just after an orgasm where my body shuddered and tingled.

  I rocked my hips as he moved in and out, slow then fast.

  He swallowed hard, breathing heavy. “I’m not going to last.” His blue eyes were clear and dark and full of so much emotion. He slid his hand in between us and found my bundle of nerves. “Again, baby doll, if you can. I want to hear my name again on those sweet lips of yours.”

  I swatted his hand away and played with myself. He watched for a mere second, then out of nowhere, he rolled us over so I was on top. He shaped my hips, helping me move on him.

  “I’ve been dreaming about you on top of me.” He teased his way up my waist until he was pinching my nipples.

  I didn’t want to think how I would never feel the nipple sensation again if I had the surgery, which I suddenly realized, in the heat of the moment, didn’t matter. Watching him as he was on the tip of letting go was all I needed to feel a wonderful shudder throughout my entire body, and that feeling was far better than anything.

  I circled my clit as I rocked against him.

  He flipped us again, grabbed my butt, and pounded into me. A blinding white light flashed before I screamed his name for a second time. I was grateful we were far enough away from any humans that no one could hear us, especially his parents.

  Within a second, Kody was grunting his release as sweat poured off of him and onto me. I didn’t care. I would take this man any way and any how, sweat and all.

  He held me steady, locking his gaze onto mine. I squeezed around him, and he closed his eyes briefly.

  “So you love me?” he asked.

  “I’m all in. Afraid or not. That’s how I feel. I can’t deny it anymore.”

  He rolled off me and onto his side, where he latched a leg over mine.

  I was on the precipice of heaving. I suspected he felt the same. In so many words on two separate occasions, he’d practically come out and told me his real feelings. Regardless, I wasn’t looking for him to tell me he loved me just because I’d said it.

  “No girl or woman since Man
dy has made me feel the way you have.”

  “Not even Ms. Sharp?” I teased, more out of nerves.

  He rubbed my arm. “She will always have a special place in my heart, but not in the I can’t live without you sense.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “You’re mine, Jessie Ryan. I want you. I need you. I’m head over heels in love with you. But if you leave me, I will die a slow death.” He delivered his words with conviction.

  I touched his rough jaw. “I don’t give my feelings to someone then take them back.”

  “I didn’t mean leave me as in break up, although I would hunt you down if you did.”

  I placed a finger on his lips. “I know you’re scared. I know you’ve struggled with Mandy’s death. I also know that you don’t like motorcycles, and that scares you beyond belief. But I know what I’m doing on a bike. I’m not going to die.” I didn’t know that for sure.

  “It’s never the rider, but the other drivers,” he said. “Still, I can’t deny the way I feel for you. But I want you to know that I’m not a fan of you riding. I’m not asking you to stop. You are who you are because you love motorcycles. That was the way Mandy was too. I would never take that away from you.”

  I lifted up and kissed him softly on the chin. “Thank you.” I didn’t ride all that much, anyway. I understood his fear. I believed that when my time was up, whether it was on a motorcycle or in a car or even walking across a street, then God would decide how that played out.

  His fingers coasted over my breast. “Have you decided whether to have the surgery?”

  I burrowed into him more. “I go back and forth. I think I’m waiting for a sign from above.”

  He chuckled. “Do you want my opinion?”

  I lifted my head, nodding, when inside, my stomach was giddy. Kody had said I would still be beautiful with or without breasts.

  “I think you should go ahead with the surgery. Your chances of developing breast cancer will be diminished greatly, right?”

  “Yeah. So you won’t run when I don’t have the real thing anymore?” I held my breath.