Crushed Page 3

  He laughed “I’m Ryan” he raised his hand out to shake mine, but wasn’t paying attention as he walked forward and tripped, falling into me and causing me to fall back with him on top of me

  “Well, normally it takes a few more minutes to get a girl on her back, this is a new record. You have really nice tits” he said grabbing a cup full.

  Are you fucking kidding me?

  I dragged my knee up between his legs, his face was busy staring at my books peeking out through my light tank top that he didn’t even notice I had moved. I kneed him in the balls causing him to roll sideways onto the floor, groaning loud and grabbing for his boys

  “What the fuck was that for?” He asked in a slight whisper looking over at me

  “That was for grabbing my boobs like I was one of your stupid whores don’t touch me” and with that I got up, grabbed my kindle and headed to the guest room.

  I slammed the door shut right as Lacey and Jason busted out laughing and I heard Lacey say

  “That’s my baby, don’t fuck with her Ryan or I will kill you”.

  Chapter 5

  I learned that Ryan would come and stay with Jason and Lacey pretty often. He had a huge house about 10 minutes down the road, in a gated community for security reasons obviously. He apparently had security however they didn’t live with him. Alex also lived in the same gated community, which made keeping Holly out a bigger chore.

  I came out of my room about two hours later and sat on the couch with Lacey, Jason was sitting on the opposite sofa with Ryan. Ryan was telling them something, but kept looking over to me. Like he was confused about something.

  “I can’t do it anymore Jason, she needs help and I keep telling Alex and there is nothing he can do. He keeps saying it’s just a crush but she thinks we are actually together. I am going to have to look around and find someone to move in with me. She is driving me crazy, to the point where I don’t even want to go home anymore”.

  I gathered from the conversation that Alex who has been Ryan’s best friend since they were kids also happened to be the son of the President of a powerful Motorcycle Club in the area called the ‘Reapers’. I remember Lacey telling me about Alex, he was a really good looking guy but a total bad boy. He had been given the choice on joining the club or going to college when he was in high school. He choose to go to college, but was forced to take care of his younger sister Holly. Holly was in love with Ryan, and a total whore. Lacey hates her, she tried to sleep with Jason a few times after she and Jason were already dating.

  “Why don’t you just file a restraining order on her, or change your locks?” I chimed in

  Ryan looked at me, like he was shocked I was talking “I can’t, it’s really complicated but I can’t.”

  “Well, Ryan you know you always have a place here. Emmy is here in the guestroom so you are going to have to take the couch, but it’s not a big deal.” Jason told him

  “Thanks” Ryan said, still watching me

  “I’m starving, I’m going to order some Chinese for pick up, Emmy you want the usual?” Lacey asked me

  “Sure, do you want me to go with you guys” I was a little nervous at being left here alone with Ryan

  “No” she replied “why don’t you sit here and chat with Ryan, Jason and I have some stuff we need to talk about.”

  I knew that was code for Jason did something she didn’t like and she wanted to be alone to yell at him.

  When they left, I felt awkward sitting there with a guy who kept looking between me and the TV, like at any moment I was going to jump up and start doing tricks

  “Okay, why do you keep staring at me?” I finally asked him

  He looked embarrassed that I had noticed and gave me a tiny shy smile

  “I feel bad, for earlier” he said

  “It’s okay, you were drunk you didn’t mean to fall.” I told him

  “No, it’s not okay I’m not usually so forward” he says

  I laughed

  “That’s not what I hear”

  He smiled

  “Well, no it’s not true but I am sorry if I made you feel weird you are Lacey’s little sister I shouldn’t have acted that way”.

  “So” he continued “how long are you up here for?”

  “Umm, for good. I had a huge fight with my mom, I am staying here. Starting over” I told him

  “Oh” was his only remark

  “Oh?” I asked

  “I mean, that’s cool” Ryan says

  “I am glad you approve, I wouldn’t want to upset the movie star” I laughed

  He glared at me then started laughing

  We sat there watching TV for a while, flipping through the channels

  “So this girl, why can’t you do anything about her?”

  He paused, looked down at his hands and looked up at me

  “Alex, my best friend is trying to stay out of joining his dad’s club for a while. It’s no secret that what they deal in is drugs and guns and are growing rapidly. Alex knows joining is inevitable. The hard part is, if he gets involved his sister will become a club whore, which to be honest she really already is, but he’s the only thing keeping her away full time. Alex feels responsible for her, and he wants her to have a better life. If I went to him and told him that she was still playing these games he would go to his dad and his dad hates Holly. That’s part of her issue, he’s hasn’t wanted her since she turned 17 and started fucking guys left and right, she was blabbing about things the club needed quiet. Alex knows that he would send her off somewhere and never give her another thought, so I keep my mouth shut, not for her I can’t stand her, but for Alex.”

  I looked at him for a long time before I responded “you are a really good friend, I wasn’t expecting your answer to be anything like that. I thought you were going to tell me that you were in love with her once before or something”

  “No, I have never been in love with anyone.” Ryan said with a slight irritated tone

  “Sorry” I said quickly, feeling like a jerk

  “No, it’s not you. I just don’t do the love thing, it’s not for me” He explained

  “Oh, well that’s a really sad way to live” I say

  He looks at me “well, that’s your opinion. What about you, are you dating”?

  “No, I just moved here. I have never really dated anyone... Ever” I tell him

  “Ever”? He says sounding shocked

  “Ever” I reply “my dad always told me that I am not to date anyone who doesn’t treat me like I am the best damn thing in his life. I would have to find someone who thought I was pretty damn amazing, before I would give him a shot. But it’s okay... At least I don’t have to deal with heartbreak and disappointment. That’s pretty much all men are... Except for Jason of course” I tell him, feeling kind of embarrassed

  “Well” he pauses “your dad is right, you should wait for a guy who will treat you like a damn queen, but what about for... well you know sex... do you have to be in love with a guy to fuck him?” He starts to laugh, but is watching me intently

  “That’s kind of a dick question don’t you think Ryan? I understand you are willing to fuck anything with a hole, but I have standards and I don’t just screw anything that comes my way” I look away from him

  “Oh my God, you are totally a virgin, I can’t believe you are sisters with Lacey and have never had sex. Holy shit” He’s laughing hysterically

  I don’t see the humor in this

  “Yeah Ryan, I’m a virgin, because I haven’t met a guy with a dick big enough to make my pussy so wet I can’t wait for him to fuck me hard with it” I say in my most seductive voice. I’m trying to mess with him

  He sits there mouth open

  “Maybe you can do it?” I start moving towards him

  He leans in towards me as I continue to talk “do you think you could handle it? Do you think you could fuck me really well and make my first time amazing, make me regret waiting so long?”

  I run a hand dow
n his chest and on my way to his knees I see that he is already hard as a rock

  I bust out laughing “oh my god, you thought I was serious!”

  He looks at me pissed off “are you kidding me right now?”

  “Wow” is all I can say

  He throws a pillow at me.

  We continue watching TV for a while, talking about stupid shit back and forth, Ryan is laying down on the couch now facing me with a blanket over his lap. Every now and then when I look at the TV I see him reach down and adjust himself. I know he is still sporting a hard on, and it makes me feel kind of good. Which I know is wrong... Right?

  Lacey and Jason come back about an hour later. Jason follows her in, wheeling in a huge suitcase.

  “I grabbed your emergency case out of the garage, I figured you would want to shower and shit” Jason tells him wheeling the huge case over to him

  “You keep an emergency suitcase here?” I asked

  “Yeah” Jason and Ryan said at the same time

  “Wow, that’s pretty... I mean all because of one girl?” I asked

  The brother’s looked at one another, clearly uncomfortable

  “Emmy, I am going to tell you, since you are staying here now your path will probably cross Holly Richardson at one point or another. She’s bad news. She is very very bad news. The only reason that we put up with her, is because Alex is seriously one of the best guys I have ever met. But if she gets in trouble her dad will have her killed at some point. He can’t stand her. So Ryan does what he can to keep her on the straight and narrow and sometimes that means hiding out here until she moves onto one of the other guys.” Jason says

  “You are rich and famous” I say to Ryan “why don’t you hire bodyguards?”

  “I’ve had them, I do have them. But if one of them gets close to her she screams rape and I don’t need any more bad press.” Ryan says

  “Wow that’s really something else, earlier you mentioned getting a roommate would that really help you?” I ask

  “Yeah, she doesn’t really pull her shit around other people. Unless she is use to you, but I think if she thought someone else was living in the house she wouldn’t barge in when she pleased and act like the lunatic that she is” he tells me

  “Ah I see” but I am still really not sure why I feel bad for Ryan, Holly sounds really horrible, but I feel like if he really wanted to get her to go away he could totally do that.

  I realized that I wasn’t really going to understand the big deal until I saw her in action myself.

  Chapter 6

  Ryan was pretty cool. We actually hung out a lot when Lacey and Jason were at work. Ryan wasn’t working at the moment because he was between movies, but he was considering taking on a TV show role and was running through a script that one of the producer’s had sent over to him. We were lying on different couches as he read it to me. The plot was kind of the opposite of Ryan, it was about a married man who found out that his wife had cancer and went on a life changing mission to find her long lost sister before his wife passed away. It was cheesy sounding, but I made the mistake of telling Ryan I didn’t think he could pull it off.

  “You aren’t a romantic guy, how are you going to play a man who loves his wife so much he goes around the world on a dangerous mission to find his beautiful wife’s long lost sister?” I giggled

  “I don’t understand what you mean, are you saying that because I don’t stick with the same girl for more than a night, that I don’t understand what it would feel like to love someone with every fiber of my being?” He asks

  “Well... No, but if you think about it, I think it is more believable as someone watching if you know the actor portraying this role isn’t known in real life for fucking everything he can get his hands on. I just think it will be hard to believe is all” I tell him

  “You don’t know anything about me Emmalyn, and I really don’t like it when you assume that you do. I could totally pull this role off” Ryan says

  “You could, I’m wrong. Forget it” I say, standing up to go into my room

  “You don’t have to leave” he says standing up

  “I do, I don’t really have anything left to say. I upset you and I was only joking, but if you don’t see my point there is no use in trying to make it again” I explain

  “I see your point, but that is why it is called acting. You are able to pretend to be someone you are not. I have enough fans who want me, to know that they will be able to watch and not thinking about what TMZ has to say about my love life. That’s not what all of this is about. Now come in here and sit down and read this with me.” He says reaching for my hand.

  We spend the rest of the night reading over the scripts and laughing.

  Chapter 7

  That’s what we did. Every day for 3 months we went out to eat with Lacey and Jason. We read his scripts, we watched TV, and we played basketball outside and went for random drives so he could show me his favorite spots. He was sweet, honestly not something I expected to believe or feel. Ryan Alexander was by far one of the most caring guys I had ever met. And probably the best looking.

  I think he stayed longer than he really needed to with us. He would go home for a few nights and then came back. Or he would go home at night but spend the day hanging out with me. When he went back to work on a movie it almost felt sad not seeing him every day. I couldn’t really explain it, but he was becoming a really good friend. I loved that he would flirt with me, but he never really made any moves. I wasn’t sure if Lacey told him what had happened to me, or if he just knew it wouldn’t be worth it. But he respected me and I liked him even more for it.

  It was 4 months to the day after I had moved in, when Lacey came out back to where Ryan and I were hanging out. She asked Ryan if she could have a moment alone with me. When he left she looked at me with sad eyes

  “He likes you” she says

  “Well I like him, he’s a great friend... Which is shocking considering our first encounter” I laughed moving closer to her on the deck

  “No Em, he really likes you. I wasn’t supposed to say anything because Jason asked me not to. But he’s been talking about you to Jason a lot. He’s stopped sleeping around with other girls too because he’s always here”

  “So because he got tired of sleeping around, that means that he likes me?” I asked irritation creeping in

  “No Em, I am his publicist I know what he does, when he sleeps with a girl every month without fail, there is at least one little whore who wants a piece of the pie, wants to tell his story tell the world about her one night with the heartthrob Ryan Alexander. I haven’t had a single story come my way in 4 months. Not one”

  “So, maybe the news is slow?” I say

  “Or maybe you are taking all his time and attention and he doesn’t need anyone else. Listen it doesn’t matter. I love Ryan, but I love you more. You are my baby and I have to tell you this. Be careful, if you decide to do anything with him. Just guard your heart. Ryan is complicated. He… I don’t know how to explain it, he goes through periods of self-hate where he almost can’t let himself be happy. Jason and I have really tried to pull him out of it, but his dad kind of broke him when they were younger. SO if you decide that you guys want to do anything, just keep your heart safe. I don’t want to see you get hurt”

  I was confused. Mary and Michael were Jason and Ryan’s parents. I knew who they were, I met them a few times over the years but I never really got to sit down and talk with them. What I did see was that they were a very happy couple, and they adored their boys.

  “I thought that Mary and Michael were really good parents” I ask her

  “Oh they are… Um... Michael isn’t Ryan’s dad”

  “How is that possible, I mean Ryan is younger than Jason and Mary and Michael are still married” I ask

  “Yes, they are... But they split up for a few months when Jason was about 5. Michael was always out of state on business and Mary couldn’t really handle life as a single mom alone. She
met Seth, Ryan’s dad at work and they kind of hit it off. They slept together one night, and that was all it took. But Seth wasn’t’ a good guy, Mary found out the hard way. But she was already pregnant. Michael came home before Ryan was born and they fixed their marriage. She allowed Seth to be a part of Ryan’s life until he was about 13 and realized that he was hurting Ryan. He would beat him when he got bad grades at school, or when he started to grow into his body he would tell him that he was fat. That’s when he started working out.”

  She went on

  “When Mary found out that Seth was bringing girls to his house, and letting Ryan have sex, she freaked out. She knew that Ryan did what his father wanted, because he wanted to feel loved by his dad. Yes he had Michael, and Michael loved him as his own, but with Seth in the picture Ryan was falling onto the wrong track. One day Seth was arrested for a drug charge and put into prison for 10 years. Mary talked to Ryan, and they both agreed that Seth had no place in his life. She petitioned the courts to have Seth’s parental rights revoked and Ryan hasn’t seen him since. But that doesn’t mean that all the damage that he caused Ryan is gone.”

  “When you grow up feeling like you aren’t good enough, you start to hate yourself a bit. Ryan picks himself apart a lot. His roles stress him out, he wants to be perfect, to make a ton of money and prove Seth that he is this amazing person with this amazing life. Ryan is one of the best people that I know, but the girls, the drinking, it’s all self-destruction and when he can’t control a situation that’s when it comes in. The day that you met him. He was in Ryan destruction mode. He was drinking and screwing around, because he had no control over the Holly situation.

  So what I am saying is, just be careful. I see the way you look at one another I don’t think you realize that you do it but it’s there. I just don’t want you to get hurt, so listen to me and be careful”

  She leans over and kisses me on the cheek

  “That’s not even why I came out here I have amazing news”

  Her words are still swirling around in my head, but I look up at her and see her eyes filled with excitement